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Who: CERES & you
When: IC: 10/04 | OOC: 11/15
Where: ViViD & McCERES
What: Intro Log
Rating/Warning: PG-13 | slightly nsfw

//event005.EXE

Learning is Fundamental! Let's play CERESLearn

ViViD's usual worlds are unfortunately down for maintenance. While CERES' programmers work on getting it back up and running, all new entrees this round will be going through a different level than usual. Only a single world is accessible at the moment, a simple one entitled 'CERESLearn.' "What the $%@& is this?" you must be thinking. Well, it's simple!

It's a study program, of course! CERES' advanced AI technology is here to make sure you learn and that you learn sexily. Whether or not you pay attention to the actual content is up to you, the player. Please enjoy it while it lasts. They're here to teach you a variety of subjects and also to make you feel vaguely uncomfortable all over.

New arrivals and those logging into ViViD will first find themselves in a classroom with a new operator greeting them rather than Vidia.

"Greetings and welcome to Cerealia! It's nice of you to join us at last. As you can see, we're just about to get started!

Here are the instructions:

♥ Choose your subject of choice. They include things like medicine, math, CERES economics, CERES history, fun facts about Julius, engineering, and science!
♥ Choose your tutor. You can hire Astor, Hilda, or UN-Zippy
♥ They'll teach you slowly, deliberately, sensually. Then after that, they'll drill you hard and without stopping.
♥ Just when you think you've had enough, they'll quiz you all over until you're sweating and panting.
♥ For those of you who pass, you'll be welcomed well into Cerealia and be given a free voucher for a McCERES Mildly Content meal. Please enjoy!"

//SCENARIOS.EXE

PHASE I

[ xxxx ] Once you choose your lesson and your tutor, you will be transported to a classroom where you and a few other players who decide to choose the same lesson will sit with your tutor after school, getting knowledge taught to you by someone who seems more intent on learning what's under your clothes than filling your head with knowledge. They will be awkwardly stretching, dropping pencils by 'accident' on the floor, and bending down slowly to pick them up. Certain things might be spilling out of their clothes. Awkward things. They will breathe down your neck and make sure you are well-versed in their anatomy by the end of the lesson.

Fortunately, it won't last long as their bodies start to flicker erratically.

PHASE II

[ xxxx ] Just as things begin to escalate, the flickering will grow intense until your tutor will start to morph before your eyes. What takes their place is something that is anything but friendly. And yes, it will continue to breathe down your neck and speak in a sweet, soft, alluring voice while reaching out with its 'hands' to try and touch you.

This will be your cue to run through the halls of the school while That Thing chases you in every single direction imaginable. There will be others joining you as everyone starts bolting out of their classrooms.

PHASE III

[ xxxx ] Feeling tired already? Well, don't stop and rest now! For those who successfully murder their own tutor, they will get their food voucher and a lovely welcome into CERES. You've officially passed! Everyone will be allowed to mingle around the game room in the CERES Research Tower before being directed into McCERES just across the street. For those who were already in the colony, you will also receive a voucher and directions to McCERES at the end of the game in case you want to go meet up with the newcomers there or just eat some artery-killing fast food.

PHASE IV

[ xxxx ] For those who get eaten by That Thing or don't pass their quizzes and upset their tutors, they will be forced to endure the Price of Failure. This means being sent to the gym with the other 'failures' to endure a painfully slow and erotic striptease by UN-Zippy. Once that is over, they will then be logged out and allowed to have their complimentary McCERES voucher.

BONUS

[ whyo'clock ] Congratulations on surviving CERESLearn! Here's your complimentary voucher for a free Mildly Content Meal at McCERES. This month's special is also the McKnight Burger. Characters are immediately invited to take a load off and enjoy some good ol' fashion fast food of questionable origin. Those who decide to order and eat here will also get a special toy included inside their Mildly Content Meals.

[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with trigger-y or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ]

//RUN.EXE

Welcome to CEREALIA's latest intro post. For your convenience, we have compiled a post detailing everyone's usual arrival experience (which is not entirely applicable this round for reasons stated above^) and a FAQ that should explain everything in more detail. Please read them thoroughly before playing. Thank you!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

So then why are you trying to give it away?

[again, it's not something that interests her, even if she's got some kind of vague idea of what it's used for. and she knows what burgers are, so that's not an issue.]

I haven't eaten a lot in the past week, so I'm not hungry... And I've heard that burgers are really greasy, so it would probably just make me sick!

[Also he doesn't like being rewarded for killing things, even if they're grossass bug beasts, so there's that... That's about 90% of his actual reason.]

Couldn't you just save it for another time or something then? Or maybe give it to someone you know!

[she just doesn't really get pawning it off on a stranger.] It's kinda weird to just give something like that to a stranger. It's... suspicious.

My friend turned it down right away. [In fact, Ciel is probably skulking around somewhere, so Oz will shoot a glance in whatever direction he's sat his dumb punk self in.]

Anyway, I probably won't use it for a long time, so I figured maybe someone who's hungry right now may want it. You don't have to take it if you think it's suspicious! [He doesn't seem offended in the least though, simply pulling the voucher away again and setting his hands against his hips.]

Ah— but maybe we don't have to keep being strangers, if that's all right with you? I'm Oz! It's nice to meet you.

[honestly, she's just going to stare at him for a moment like "seriously?" ...not that this hasn't happened before, she tends to know people who make friends very easily (thanks, jrpg party?), but the way he bounces back from that kind of throws her off.

...not that she really minds that much, despite the face. if anything, it kind of flusters her a bit to have him be so up-front about wanting to be friendly like that. she clasps her hands behind her back, swaying back and forth a little as she replies.]

Yeah, I guess it's okay. I'm Elle. [okay, so maybe her ability to be properly social lacks. but she's eight and was pretty much sheltered until a few months ago.]

[He tends to do that... the whole abnormally fast bouncing back thing... HE'S WORKING ON IT. For now, though, he seems totally charmed by this nerd and her inability to say hi properly. Who cares for convention anyway?? NOT OZ.]

Elle, huh? That's a pretty name! [Overly friendly and very generous with compliments...] Were you here before, or did you just get here, too?

[wow, the compliments! it's another thing she's not sure how to deal with, especially when he's being so smiley and friendly about it. it's a little... over-the-top to her, though he'll get the benefit of the doubt for a moment. but if he keeps it up, she may start calling that friendliness outright weird or creepy.]

Not that long... but I'm not super new either. It's been a couple of weeks, I guess.

[She wouldn't be the first and she won't be the last... Perpetual Cheer is Oz's default setting, regardless, SO IT'S BOUND TO HAPPEN.']

Oh— [Not from his group, then.] ...Did you miss out on those bugs? That's good! [TRULY. His Victorian Sensibilities were ruffled and that was even before the attempted murder started happening, so he's glad that someone who looks like a kid (probably) didn't have to go through that ordeal.]

If you've been here for a couple of weeks, do you mind if I ask you some things?

Bugs?

[that's probably a pretty good indicator that she has absolutely no idea what he's talking about. the curious and questioning expression probably only serves to further answer that question.

she's not really sure how much she'd actually be able to answer; elle doesn't know that much about a lot of things, since she's purposely left in the dark about some aspects and still learning other. but she shrugs anyway.] Sure, I don't really mind.

Yeah, they were- [...] ...Something that you're definitely better off having avoided.

[TO SAY THE LEAST, but Oz doesn't seem keen on lingering on that topic and moves forward accordingly. Questions are more important, anyway!!]

I've heard that this kind of weird thing happens semi-frequently here. People showing up and things not going right, I mean... Would you say that's true?

Well... yeah, kinda. I guess.

[it's not totally inaccurate, so she nods.] I don't really know what happened before, but when I got here, they were telling everyone I was a... mafia crimelord? And they sent these weird assassin robot monsters to try and kill me.

I guess it wasn't really supposed to happen like that because the bigwigs apologized later, but it happened. [she only narrowly escaped death, okay!! despite how she's playing it cool now.]

[NO ONE MENTIONED THE DEATH PART YET?? Why has no one mentioned that! Why do people prioritize poisoned burgers and leave out the assassin bots and murder games... Oz looks suitably startled, because really.]

Wait, they tried to kill you? [He's reminded briefly of what someone else had said about cleaning droids malfunctioning...] But you were okay, right? —All they did was apologize? [?!]

Yeah, I'm okay. [she nods. ludger totally saved her ass at the last minute, as he tends to do. she's just sort of refusing to acknowledge the fact that she was frozen with terror... but isn't that expected of a defenseless eight year old?] Well, I guess they gave us money, too. You know, as part of their apology. So it wasn't that bad.

[20,000 credits a lot to a kid! especially when it doesn't have to go to paying down a massive debt.]

[Oz does not seem to be placated by the monetary compensation, but that's what you get with dang shonens.]

It sounds like this sort of thing happens a lot, though. Is that all they do? Apologize and give money? [RUDE.] I guess it's fine if you're all right, but if this sort of thing keeps happening...

[to that, she shrugs.]

I dunno, how am I supposed to know things like that? That was the first time anything happened to me. You probably have to find someone that's been here longer.

People haven't talked about it? [THE INFORMATION SYSTEM HERE IS SO QUESTIONABLE but Oz doesn't blame people for it, assuming there are probably bigger things to be worrying about day to day if this sort of arrival is the norm.]

But I'll do that... Thanks. It sounds like it isn't going to be as easy as filing a complaint, either way. [He glances back over toward the burger joint while speaking, somewhat absentminded, but then shakes his head as if to clear the topic for the time being.]

Even that's good to know, though. I think I have a better idea of what to expect here.

Not to me.

[but why would they really talk to elle about it? she's a kid, and even she knows that's pretty much the whole reason why. they want to protect her from a lot of the bad (even if she can handle it) and the things that will undoubtedly go over her head.]

It's all pretty weird, but it's not that bad most of the time. But I guess when it's bad, it's pretty bad, you know?

[And then there's Oz, proponent of telling kids more than they should likely know, just because he thinks it's (usually) worse to withhold things due to age. That's something that's come back to bite him once or twice, though...]

Even a little bad isn't good... [Words Of Wisdom™, truly. But hey! At least it isn't filled with murder. Yet.]

—But I guess that isn't a great topic, huh? You've been a lot of help! I know that you probably won't need it, but if you ever want help for anything in return, I'll do what I can right away!

[at this point, she could probably handle a little murder talk. she's already seen quite a few dead bodies. and people killed right in front of her. not that she really wants to remember it, but she'd handle it better now than a few months ago.]

My daddy always said that it was good to help people who need it, especially if other people helped you first. AndI got a lot of that when I first got here... so I guess I can accept your offer if there's something I ever need, too. [she folds her arms over her chest and her cheeks flush a bit. she doesn't really want to admit that she's glad she was able to help someone out; it makes her feel useful.

especially when he's not totally looking down on her or not taking her seriously because she's a kid. stuff like that is important.]

[THAT'S A TRAGEDY but luckily Oz usually tries to spare younger kids from murder talk unless it's absolutely necessary... Granted he probably makes up for the dry spells by being indelicate WHOOPS.

But that's a good thing to hear, and he nods once in definite agreement.]

He sounds like a pretty smart guy! [The world, he thinks, would be a very nice place if everyone thought that way.]

I'm glad, though; don't forget, okay? Even if it's just something like being hungry but not feeling like cooking or spending money! I know how to make instant oatmeal really well now. [He sounds so... proud.....]

[sorry, oz... she's not exactly impressed by instant oatmeal though. which is kind of what happens when you've got a picky kid on your hands whose caretaker is actually an amazing cook.]

Instant oatmeal? That's not really cooking though. [maybe you should take lessons, bro. also, it's totally not the point here at all but she gets a little stuck on it because she isn't sure that's something to actually be proud of.]

[The struggle of knowing Truly Good Food... But as a dumb noble who hasn't ever really had to prepare things for himself until recently, and also a Ye Olde who has no experience with modern stoves, he is totally proud. He will take this misplaced pride to the grave!!]

It is! You have to use those weird stoves and everything! [Or the microwave, but Oz is not yet brave enough to make an attempt.] You can add fruits or spices, too - that's definitely cooking!

What's so weird about stoves?

[truly, she's asking the most important question here. sure, she still doesn't really agree that adding stuff to instant oatmeal is actually cooking... but whatever. she's never met anyone who thought a stove was weird.]

[No he hates showing his ye oldeness... DON'T LOOK AT HIM, NEW FRIEND.]

They aren't wood-burning here...! It took a long time to get used to the gas ones back at the park and now these ones are just— knobs.

But a stove is still a stove. It's not really that much different, is it?

[she really doesn't get the big deal here. granted, she doesn't know the finer points in different kinds of stoves either, considering all the ones back home were powered by spyrix or spirits. but hey, she's eight.]

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