estoria | ( OPEN )

[The rustling catches his attention before the bags even hit the floor, since he's still on relatively high alert, so he turns and--

Ah. For a second, he freezes up in habitual tension. He doesn't look anywhere near as awful as he had the first day that he came to Haru with critical damage, but a flutter of panic still runs through him every time. But before he can so much as consider saying anything, Haru's flung himself forward and Kashuu has to throw his arms out in turn to catch him, mildly panicked.]

Haruji—?

[...It's kind of nice, in a way, to hear that Haru had looked for him. It's nice to know that he was missed, worried after - but he feels awful for thinking so and moves on quickly with a curt shake of his head. A second or two pass before he lets himself hold Haru in turn (somewhat gingerly, to avoid getting blood on him and aggravating his injuries). He definitely hears that tremor, though, and it makes his lips press into a thin line.]

...Sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I didn't even know I was gone until I was already here again. [A beat.] Has it, like... Have I been gone a long time?

[ it's him. it's him, he's here, he's solid and alive and okay, he's going to be fine, ceres gave him back-- he smells the same, he feels the same, his presence familiar and beloved. it settles back into haru's heart and soul, solid and certain, and his breath hitches again as kashuu's arms close around him in turn.

haru doesn't normally seek comfort from others, even his swords. it's his job to be the comforter, after all, and more than that, he doesn't like for people to know when he's upset or struggling. but.. it's been a long, long week, and he's lost both hotarumaru and horikawa, and he'd thought even kashuu.. ]

Don't-- [ he hiccups, lifting his head to scrub the back of his hand over his eyes, wiping away any hint of tears. ] I love you, I'm just glad you're b-back. [ then a hasty shake of his head, trying to reassure him. ] You weren't.. gone long. Just three days. But I couldn't sense you, and you weren't on the network, and I didn't.. I was.. [ scared.

but then his eyes widen again, and he pulls back, pale gaze a little horrified. ] You're hurt. I-- I'm sorry, what happened? Let's-- We need to get you fixed up.

[To Kashuu, he's only been away from Haru for the duration of the sortie, so he doesn't feel the same panic of separation himself. But seeing it in Haru resonates with him, and he ends up holding more tightly, feeling awful because the very last thing he wants is to abandon the ones he loves.

The sleeve of this coat is long, and he pulls one hand away to help dab at Haru's cheeks even after they're dry. He still feels terrible, ugly and messy and gross, but-- then he hears "I love you", and suddenly it's not quite so bad. He knows that Haru loves him, of course. His heart is big, and he loves every spirit that he brings into existence. Still, it's different when it's said aloud, and he chokes on air while he's trying to draw enough in to speak.

I love you is all he ever wants to hear.]

I'm sorry. [He repeats it despite what Haru says, because it's not enough anyway.] Even if it was just three days. I mean, I didn't-- I didn't mean to leave, y'know? [He didn't mean to make Haru cry, either, but instead of apologizing for that, he just says:] I love you - I'm sorry. [Because he's back now, but he had already left once.

Before he can say anything else, though, Haru mentions his injuries (not fully forgotten, but put on the backburner for a blessed second) and the self-consciousness floods back.]

Um— right. I just got back from a sortie, so...

[ he twitches a little in surprise as kashuu wipes at his face, not-smiling at the gentle gesture. even after months spent away from his parents and in the company of what's almost entirely spirits, haru still doesn't quite know how to show how he feels on his expression, but he's at least more relaxed than he'd been those first few weeks. he's.. learning.

he reaches up, curling his fingers with kashuu's, squeezing them gently. ] It's okay. [ i love you. he needs to say it more often. he thinks they all know, he thinks kashuu knows, because he tries to make sure he shows it. but there's a lot to be said for saying it aloud, and they all deserve to hear it.

he takes a deep, trembling breath, stepping in close again to tug kashuu down the few inches that separate them. his free hand pushes the hood back, and he presses a kiss to the bridge of his nose, fingers curling in his ponytail. ]

You're still beautiful, so stop hiding, okay? [ no matter how scuffed or bloodied or dirty kashuu is, he'll always be perfect to haru. it scares him when he's injured, of course, and haru's shaking a little as he drops back on his heels again, but what matters right now is that kashuu remembers that haru is keeping him-- no matter what. ] C'mon. You're okay to walk? D'you want to lean on me? [ he's already urging him toward their door. ]

[Kashuu, often more observant than he's given credit for and especially when it comes to the people his world revolves around, has definitely noticed the subtle changes that showcase improvement in Haru's ability to show how he feels. They're small steps, but - that's about the pace they're all going at, isn't it? And they're going together, at least. No one is being left behind or forgotten.

In an equally small step, while Kashuu reflexively shrinks away once Haru pushes his hood back, but doesn't panic to his usual degree. Maybe it's because he's been placated in advance by a simple "I love you", but he does seem to be trying his best to listen to what Haru is saying. He certainly doesn't feel beautiful, and his strongest desire is to pull the hood back up until they get inside. He also moves to the door of their apartment a little more quickly than someone who's calm would do, but there's no shouting or fits or compulsive freak-outs.]

It's fine - it's not bad damage. I can still walk.

[But he offers a smile anyway, to show he appreciates the offer, and then waits for Haru to unlock the door. His own key is likely still on his desk where he had left it, after all.]

[ he's quick to unlock the door, shutting it behind them and then steering them toward the bathroom, where he quickly gets out the medical kit. first things first: cleaning up his human body's injuries. then he needs to assess any damage to kashuu's vessel and take care of that. ]

Sit down and take off your jacket and top, okay? [ he starts laying everything out he needs, then puts the plug in the bathtub and starts the water there. doubtless, after the stress of a sortie and returning here, he really just wants to get cleaned up, repaired, and crash for a while. later, haru can make him something to eat and drink while he's resting.

.. it really helps to have these familiar motions to focus on. haru isn't shaking so bad now. he knows kashuu is going to be okay, he'd come back to him. he's.. honestly not sure what he'll do if the spirit ever really disappears. it's a risk every time he sends him out, of course, but it's never hung so oppressively over his head as it does now, now that he's already disappeared once.

he doesn't want to think about that. ]

'Kay.

[It's more of a mumble than anything spoken clearly, but Kashuu will unbutton his jacket, and then his... other jacket. And his vest. And his shirt. It's a process, but he gets there eventually!! And he gets there without fuss, too. Partially because these really aren't terrible injuries, and partially because he's managed to reach a point where his immediate reaction to showing them to Haru isn't so violent. ...It helps him to have something familiar to focus on too, anyway. He can still see the floors of Ikedaya Inn when he closes his eyes.

The clothing gets folded and set neatly on the floor, and Kashuu sits as instructed. The damage, at first glance, lines up with what Haru will recognize as being on the lower side of medium. He winces once when he sits, but otherwise doesn't seem too pained by the slashes that decorate his arms and torso.]

...S'everything else fine? Nothing weird happened while I was gone, yeah?

[ he shakes his head, kneeling in front of kashuu and beginning to gently clean the worst of the injuries, brows knitting together faintly as he keeps his worry under control. he's done this a hundred times by now for over forty blades, but it never gets any easier seeing them hurt. ]

No.. everything's okay. You already knew about Hotaru-kun and Hori-kun.

[ he dabs gently at a gash in kashuu's side, lips twitching down into a small frown. ] .. This one might need stitches. At least until I can take care of your vessel.

[ he glances back up again, pale eyes meeting scarlet. ] When was the sortie you just came from..? [ when, not where, because periods in history are how they measure their lives these days. he knows kashuu came from an earlier point than haru had, but.. how much time passed for kashuu in the three days he was gone? ]

[Again, he's very good at not moving now. Haru will be able to work without any fussing from him, even though he does keep his gaze averted for the majority of the time he's cleaning up. It's still humiliating to be seen in a state like this, even if he can control his reactions a little better now.]

So they're still gone?

[A concern, honestly. His room is quite empty now, and it's strange to be one of only two swords of the Shinsengumi left when almost all of them had been here just a couple of months ago. It's getting a little lonelier around the apartments, steadily but surely, and that's upsetting.

He does look back once the question is asked, even if he glances away again for just the slightest second right before he answers.]

It was back in 1864.

[ he nods slightly at the question, feeling weighed down and depressed about it every time he thinks about it. it was bad enough just not having them all here, but now that some of them are disappearing.. ]

Yeah.. I was thinking of asking someone if they wanted to take the empty room, but.. [ a part of him wants to leave it just like that in hopes that kane-san and hori-kun will come back.

he flinches in surprise at the date, though, eyes widening faintly. ] .. 1864. [ he knows what that means. he hesitates, putting everything down, sitting back on his heels and gently folding his hands over kashuu's knees. ] .. Do you want to talk about it? [ he's not sure that he will, all things considered, given how recent it's been for kashuu.. but it's important for him to know that haru will listen.

and then, unfortunately, the itch in his throat that's been building finally crests, and he coughs, plucking up the neck of his shirt to cover his mouth with it. .. ah.. yeah.. he's definitely getting sick. it's a good thing he bought cold medicine. which is.. outside.. where he left the rest of his groceries, oops. ]

[He's actually thinking along the same lines (as Mutsu had been earlier, though he isn't aware of that yet.) Changing things just seems like barring the door and accepting those disappearances. He understands not wanting to do that yet, so he hums softly in response.]

Um... [Ikedaya is a little messier. He reaches forward when Haru places his hands on his knees, resting his own over the top. His presence is reassuring - familiar - and Kashuu feels more at ease from that alone.] I guess, but it was—

["Pretty uneventful", is what he wants to say, but then he hears the cough and his sentence dies immediately. He didn't have to listen to that cough worsen over time until it became Souji's defining trait, but he did hear it once, and that once was more than enough. Especially now that it's so fresh in his mind again.]

...Haruji? Are you okay?

[ he winces a little at the concern, letting his shirt drop again once he's sure the coughing's stopped. he glances back up, then, trying to be reassuring. ]

Yeah, I'm just getting a cold. [ probably. hopefully? it could be strep or something, but it's usually just a nasty cold. ] It's no big deal, I get sick a few times a year. [ he knows what kashuu is worried about, especially given what he'd just come from, but.. it's important to reassure him that it's nothing he needs to think about. ] I should start wearing a mask, though, I guess. I don't think you guys can get sick, but better safe than sorry, right?

[ he turns his hand beneath kashuu's, fingers curling against his palm fondly. he climbs to his feet, then, to turn the water off in the tub. ] Um. [ he glances back, a little self-conscious despite himself. ] You were saying, though?

[yeah okay but GUESS WHO ELSE WAS IN THE HABIT OF REASSURING THAT EVERYTHING WOULD BE OKAY when nothing, in fact, was actually okay? Just guess!!

His brow is still furrowed and he reaches out with one of his hands, but he doesn't know to test temperatures with the back, so he just sticks his palm flat across Haru's forehead...]

Are you sure? D'you need to see a doctor or something? [Colds aren't supposed to be a big deal, and conditions have been poor lately, what with the "suddenly you can't warm up" thing they all had going on... But he's still worried, naturally. Haru may say he gets sick several times a year, but this is the first he's seen.

He sets his hands back into his lap when Haru stands up (having realized belatedly that he doesn't actually know enough about temperatures to be able to tell if Haru actually has a fever), and raises his shoulders in a sloping gesture.]

It wasn't a big deal, I guess. I mean, I got through it. [This time.]

[ yes ok but haru is actually ok (probably)!!

still, haru doesn't seem to mind the hand against his brow, even if kashuu's doing it wrong. he's quiet for a few moments as he returns to the spirit, lowering himself to kneel again and finish cleaning up his injuries. ]

No, I have some medicine I can take. It's kind of silly to go to a doctor for something this minor. [ haru don't let those be your famous last words. (but really, no, it's not that bad.)

he makes a soft, upset noise at the comment, gently turning kashuu's arm to get at a cut on the underside. ] .. I shouldn't have sent you. You shouldn't have had to go. [ not there, of all places. ]

[PROBABLY. Probably.

He rests his hands on Haru's knees instead now, keeping still once more when he returns to work with the exception of moving his arm when another cut is found.]

It's minor? You're sure? [Not that he doesn't trust Haru, of course! But reassurances aren't enough to ease away all of his worries, in this case. He's only distracted from that concern by the soft sound Haru makes and the words that follow, because he can already see the self-blame in them.]

Hey— I was the one who asked to go. As soon as I heard we had to go back, I asked. I mean... It was strategic, y'know? Because we're the swords who know the most about that place and its layout.

[And because he had something to prove, or some sort of fear to face - he's not entirely sure.]

( OPEN )

UGH HARU lies on the floor

you did this ok

shot through the heart and you're to blame tbh!!!

stop.. we both know you're the one that makes love a bad game...

i do try.....

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

sorry kashuu

why do you do these things

im shooting for demon general

gives you a promotion!!!

ah now i just need to depose you and eski.......

WOAH you're gunning for the top