estoria | [open] WHO LET THE DOG OUT

Who:

undaunts and YOU! (Tagging order will be You-Ruby-Yang!)
When: IC 5/1
Where: Everywheeeeeeeeere
What: In which a corgi rains terror over the populace
Rating/Warning: C for CORGIIIIIIII

[ So while you're walking about, enjoying or hating your day, you will encounter a dog. This dog will, as adorable corgis do, perform one of the following feats:

a.) Steal whatever you're holding for a game of Keep Away. Don't think that being tall will save you, he's got quite the spring in his hind legs.

b.) Drop whatever thing he's picked up (ball, wadded up paper, someone's high heel) and wait expectantly for you to play fetch with him.

c.) Bark. And roll over. This means love him.

d.) Trip you. It's probably unintentional.

Whatever he does, at least you'll hear two voices (familiar or not) clamoring in the distance for "Zweeeeeeeeeeeeeei!" and then Yang and Ruby will be heading in your direction at high speed.

Whatever you do, don't grab the dog and run. They may not know who you are, but they will find you. And they will kill you.

Or at least make you regret it. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Rude!! Don't hijack our dog!

First off, you can't hijack a dog. You hijack things that are flying, which is why its called 'hi' jacking. Secondly, this isn't a case of dogjacking. It's rescue.

Dogjacker!

[Ruby listened to maybe 50% of that, but she's dramatically pointing at him now.]

You're the worst, Archer!

There's nothing worse than dogjacking in the shape of a rescue!

[ FIEND. ]

I could be cooking him right now. That would not only make me worse than worst, but it's far worse than dogjacking. No need for hyperboles.

[???!!!??]

What?!

You'd cook a dog?! Especially a dog as fiercely adorable as this dog?

Ruby, I don't think he'd stoop that low...

Ironic because dog is quite tasty and rather good for you.

But no, I had no plans to. The cultural stigma for that would be pushing the envelope too much.

[But he still pats the doggy. And just spoils it over here. Mostly because it seems to make them madder.]

[................]

I can't tell if you're joking or not.

He's petting him. He's joking.

[ He better be. ]

If I was joking, that would mean I did have plans for your dog and a food dish.

Thankfully, I'm being more than serious.

...Archer, you're really weird.

[If you were wondering.]

Anyway, Zwei seems to like you so that's okay.

[Look at his little doggy tail wag!]

But you still can't steal him.

Yep. Stealing is unforgivable.

And you two haven't stolen something before?

[Just making things clear.]

Nope! Never!

[Ruby is a paragon of goodness.]

We'd never do that!!

[ Yang... isn't, BUT SHE HAS MORALS. ]

And I look like someone who would, then?

...Yyyyyes?

[???]

Wait, is that a trick question?

You definitely act suspicious more than you should.

I'm hurt, really. My feelings are destroyed. I should just go ahead and be someone that's evil, at this rate.

[He sounds so deadpan that he can't be serious.]

Well, that's silly.

[At least that was so deadpan that even Ruby caught it.]

You're not evil at all. You're too... hero-y for that. Brooding hero-y.

Yeah, evil's usually more dynamic.

[ They love you. ]

...if you want your dog back, you'll have to refrain from calling me a hero in the future. Otherwise, you may as well say your goodbyes.

[Trigger Warning: Heroes]

Edited 2016-01-16 18:20 (UTC)

... Huh? How come?

[???? HEROES ARE THE COOLEST, ARCHER.]

Yeah? Also, Zwei could take you.

(no subject)

swordboning - 2016-01-17 21:24 (UTC) - Expand

undaunts - 2016-01-18 19:31 (UTC) - Expand

flaredo - 2016-01-18 19:33 (UTC) - Expand

swordboning - 2016-01-18 22:33 (UTC) - Expand

undaunts - 2016-01-19 17:10 (UTC) - Expand