estoria | [open] WHO LET THE DOG OUT

Who:

undaunts and YOU! (Tagging order will be You-Ruby-Yang!)
When: IC 5/1
Where: Everywheeeeeeeeere
What: In which a corgi rains terror over the populace
Rating/Warning: C for CORGIIIIIIII

[ So while you're walking about, enjoying or hating your day, you will encounter a dog. This dog will, as adorable corgis do, perform one of the following feats:

a.) Steal whatever you're holding for a game of Keep Away. Don't think that being tall will save you, he's got quite the spring in his hind legs.

b.) Drop whatever thing he's picked up (ball, wadded up paper, someone's high heel) and wait expectantly for you to play fetch with him.

c.) Bark. And roll over. This means love him.

d.) Trip you. It's probably unintentional.

Whatever he does, at least you'll hear two voices (familiar or not) clamoring in the distance for "Zweeeeeeeeeeeeeei!" and then Yang and Ruby will be heading in your direction at high speed.

Whatever you do, don't grab the dog and run. They may not know who you are, but they will find you. And they will kill you.

Or at least make you regret it. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Hey, now, monster fighting is completely different from corgi chasing.

... [ But she'll reach down under his arms to haul him up. ]

[ WOW RUBY if his pride wasn't bludgeoned enough...

He starts to pull himself to his feet about the same time Yang reaches down to help him up. When he faces them, he's more than a little pink in the face. ]

So, I, uh - can we...pretend that never happened?

[ PLEASE

ALSO YOUR DOG IS A MENACE ]

[Sorry......... Ruby grins and shrugs and--]

What happened?

[She's got your back, bro.]

Right, right. What were you up to, Dipper?

[ Hey look, they're being merciful for once. ]

[ Well, that's a relief. No really, he sincerely appreciates their mercy. ]

Oh. Uh - I was delivering some packages. I guess the one your dog took must have some kind of meat in it or something.

[ Why else would a dog steal a package. It's not like mailmen are their mortal enemies (after cats) or anything like that! ]

Awww, Zwei, don't mess with people's jobs! That's not very nice!

[Ruby's not very good at scolding, admittedly, but Zwei still whines.

Awwwwwwww]

Well, if his teeth marks didn't go in too far, it might still be okay?

[ Dipper is sort of inclined to dislike this dog, but when it makes that face...WELL IT'S A RUDE TACTIC and instead he focuses on the package in his hand. ]

Iiiii think it's fine. Don't worry about it.

Are you suuuure? We can...try to fix it, or something?

[Don't let them help more, it'll probably just make things worse.]

Well, if it's fine... it just means we don't let Zwei have another go at it.

[ It's the best they can do. ]

No, seriously, don't worry about it. [ Yes, Yang, just keep that meddlesome Corgi away from him... ]

But I feel kinda bad... it's like Zwei made your job harder or something.

[Which is...exactly what he did, thanks, Ruby.]

He kinda did. But we can't dwell in the past!

[ Yang, it was two minutes ago. ]

If it makes you feel any better, most of the time I get in the way of doing my own job anyway, so...I guess your dog saved me the trouble this time?

[ Something like that. ]

... Dipper, that's just really sad when you put it that way.

Do you need help, or...? I mean for other times?

I don't think so? It's fine. I just need to not try to deliver pineapples on a bicycle again.

[ He bites off more than he can chew, sometimes. ]

[.......]

How many pineapples, exactly?

... Did you crash or something?

...Uh, well, crashing was...a part of it...

... It gets worse?

[Why do you almost sound excited, Ruby]

Ruby, you're supposed to sound worried.

[ It's okay, Yang, Dipper's tales of woe are pretty entertaining... ]

See, I kind of...stole this shopping cart full of pineapples from the grocery.

...It seemed like a good idea at the time.

But it's kind of funny.

[Yeah.]

... Dipper, stealing is bad!

[No shit, Ruby.]

Dipper...

[ DON'T STEAL... ]

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