estoria | ain't no party like a kumou party

Entry tags:

ain't no party like a kumou party

Who: the residents of the Cloudy Apartment (aka Tenka & Sousei & Soramaru & Nishiki & whoever else they might pick up....)
When: varies
Where: the best apartment Ever
What: Home is where the chaos is.
Rating/Warning: none at the moment!

[In this nifty little space, I'm going to mention that Sousei and Tenka used the HOLO(gm) to make the entire apartment look closer to the shrine, complete with sliding screen doors and tatami mats. They tossed all of the chairs out the window and proceeded to get really low tables and cushions so that they could sit around as they normally do.

The kitchen is the only modern-looking part of the apartment because they realized that as much as they fail at cooking, what they have is already better than the kitchen of the shrine. They also bought a rice cooker because that's pretty important.

For now, everyone has their own room. Subject to change if this family gets bigger or they decide to knock down a wall to the next apartment over. Who knows, maybe that'll happen on accident.

Lastly, they kept the couch. Because Tenka liked it and he still claims to be The Rule.]

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[ . . . . . Tenka's gaze shifts down to the table again. Even when it was called Oumi, their town was loved. The Sasaki family had a lost of fondness for the land too, yet Tenka doesn't feel like that's something of his to share. He'll tell Sousei all the general facts about the Orochi but-

Those feelings, they're too personal to be given out. Tenka already feels like he's intruding. So his hand around his cup tightens for a moment before he takes a sip.

Instead of giving someone else's emotions, he explains on his own side-]

It's painful. I've blacked out before and when I woke up, I found out that I hurt a lot of people.

[So much so that he needed to be chained to the wall - yet that's something he doesn't think Sousei needs to know. It would be needlessly cruel to mention.]

When I'm awake enough, I can normally stop myself - but I can't imagine being awake and not stopping.

[Perhaps it was his willpower. It's something Sousei thinks but does not say. Perhaps Sasaki's ancestor had given up, and that was why he was unable to do a thing despite retaining his consciousness.

Or perhaps there was really nothing.

It's impossible to say, at this point. Soramaru, too--he blacked out, and he... killed people, and nearly killed Takamine, and Sousei's expression tightens.]

Neither option is good. [blacking out and hurting someone, being awake and hurting someone--it's only going to lead to pain further down the road either way.]

That is why we will destroy the Orochi for good.

[Which is when Tenka just snorts-]

Yeah, that stolen sword of yours ought to be good for something.

[oh my god can you just--

But he just scoffs at that. The sword is in his room, as it always is when he's asleep, so it isn't at his side BUT HE SURE IS TIRED OF THIS TOPIC.]

I have been accused of stealing my sword by three separate people now.

Like I said, you might just look like a thief.

Perhaps Kumou are simply quick to jump to conclusions.

[since it was tenka and kagemitsu.......

and then hirari but. Hirari.]

The other was Abe no Hirari, and considering the sword is also somehow in his possession, it is understandable.

You could also look like a thief. We may never know until someone else accuses you of stealing something.

[TENKA????

ah well, he's shaking his head at that.]

Even now, it's weird to think of him as an Abe.

[TENKA??????

Sousei just stares at him for a long, long moment, and then shakes his head, dismissing that topic. STUPID.

... ahem. Hirari....]

... His attitude makes more sense to me knowing that. He is not my ancestor, because he is not properly of the Abe family. He would have been adopted into it.

[for the sole sake of being orochi bait...delightful.]

[Now he's going to wait for the day that someone else accuses Sousei of stealing something.

Anyway.

He meets Sousei's eyes at that, thinking for a moment on how to best address the topic of the Abe 'bait'. It's an awful idea to think that they were used to draw out the Orochi, raised only so that they could die for their family later. If Sousei was raised with that kind of mindset, then it's no wonder that he's the withdrawn kid that he was so many years ago.

. . . . . ]

Doesn't matter. It looks like he's familiar with Kagemitsu-san anyway. He'll be adopted into the Kumou eventually, I'm sure.

[Like how Sousei was.]

[you can bring up the orochi bait if you want and the abe family and their entire plethora of problems, but--

Sousei has already gotten distracted.

Namely because--]

Do you think so? They don't seem to like each other much. [even before the entire accidental murder thing??]

[Tenka snorts at that and has an easy rebuttal-]

As if you were a huge fan of us when Dad picked you up.

That is not--

[A pause, and slowly, as if considering this for the first time himself--]

I...did not care much either way, at the time.

[Tenka.... can't help but wonder.]

Did you care much about anything at the time?

No.

[an immediate answer, because--well, it's true. He didn't. He didn't have much to care about--

... no, that's not true.

After a mildly hesitant pause (which is quite a lot for him, he shakes his head).]

... Yes. Somewhat. There was... one thing.

[... he shakes his head more firmly then.]

I was not completely bereft, if that is what you are asking.

[ . . . . . that is a lot for him. Tenka blinks slowly then, letting the confusion settle on his features easily. In complete honesty, he'd thought that Sousei was so... gloomy back then, for the lack of a better word. Sad. Empty. Lost and not yet found.]

What was the one thing?

[Tenka's not wrong, honestly. He was all of those things.

But nonetheless, he did not have nothing. There was one, small thing he was constantly holding onto, and Sousei pauses for a moment longer before he shrugs inwardly and throws it to the wind.

Tenka is...Tenka.

The fact that they've never talked about this is likely solely because of their separation.]

... I was determined to hold my head high, even if I had to do so myself.

[even if he had nothing to hold his head high over. He didn't want to be nothing.]

[Ah, of course.

A smile tugs at Tenka's lips without him even noticing. Well, sure, that explains why Sousei was so quick to walk away from him and ignore his father's kindness. 'Even if I had to do so myself' says a lot about just how incredibly independent in his partner is. In his youth, Tenka never understood. Everything was something to be shared. His love was to be shared with his brothers, his father and mother would hold his hand, and their home was open to all who needed one.

What does it say now that years later, only after he lost Sousei and the Yamainu, Tenka understands better now what it's like to take something upon yourself and refuse to share it with the world? Where all that mattered was that he could keep going, even with a lifetime of sadness on his mind?]

I'm.... really glad.

[Given what he knows about the Orochi bait now. Given how he saw Hirari handle it by clinging onto Botan with everything he had.

Yet they managed to find purpose.]

It's really lucky that we had the Yamainu, huh?

[Of course it was by himself. He didn't have anyone else, so he always had to do it by himself. But then there was someone else who followed him around and refused to leave him alone and--

Yes, of course there was the Yamainu.

But...

His brow furrows slightly.]

... The Yamainu are important, undoubtedly. [...] But if you are meaning to imply that the Yamainu was what changed my state of being, you are wrong.

[He's surprised.

Honest to goodness, he's surprised. Because he's rather sure that the Yamainu was their everything for a while. Their days were full of practice after all and even after practice, everyone would come back to the shrine with them. That's just how it was.

So he hums thoughtfully. If it wasn't them, then....]

It was probably Dad then....?

[But he'd always thought of Dad's influence in conjunction with the Yamainu to some degree - he was their commander, after all.]

[are you stupid]

[He almost feels reluctant to say this knowing how reluctant Tenka is to see it, but ultimately, he scoffs, meeting Tenka's eyes and arching an eyebrow.]

It was an irritating crabhead of a child who would not leave me alone, no matter how content I was in my solitude.

There was this child who was so full of beliefs and goals, and was so convinced that they could be accomplished--

And even if he was poor at paying attention to his studies and would fall asleep in ridiculous places without reason, I believed him.

[irritating crabhead, you suck--

. . . . but the rest manages to smooth out his expression, even as it switches to something confused. Tenka's beliefs were centered around the Yamainu and he always sought out those dreams for the sake of the country. He remembers what he said to Sousei that day, sure, but...]

... I said, "If it's us, we can do it."

[So he shakes his head at that.]

It's always had to be you and me. You and me and the Yamainu.

[Tenka was the type to throw his ideals at everyone - but those ideals couldn't have existed without the people involved in them. It doesn't work that way.]

I don't intend to deny that.

[The Yamainu is so important to him. They are his family, his squad, his everything.

But nonetheless, he's not blind. The look his pins on Tenka is almost thoughtful, eyes narrowed. He doesn't think he understands why this is happening, but he finally is getting a gasp on what is, at least.]

It was always our dream. But at some point, you ceased including yourself in that dream.

[...]

Why?

[The first part to that comes easy:]

It's... not really my dream to have anymore.

[Not anymore. Not since he lost his parents. No, Tenka's dreams are simpler now: a cute wife, three kids, a life surrounded by happy people and a loving family. Yet even those felt out of reach. How could he dream of one day saving the entirety of Japan when he wasn't even sure if he would live long enough to get married?]

It's not really suited--

[ . . . . he pauses there, brows knitting together. Then he amends - not sadly, not as if he's missing a part of him - just simply.]

I'm not really suited for it anymore.

[The dream never changed.

Tenka did.]

[It's not his dream to have anymore, he says. He's not suited anymore for it.

Sousei stares at him for a long moment, but it's not in shock. He's not surprised to hear this. But he's also not pleased by it. So for a long moment, he simply looks at his partner, and then he shakes his head once, simply.

And his tone is equally simple, and straightforward, and calm.]

That is not acceptable.

[Ah.]

I don't intend to allow you to duck out of our dream so easily. We're not giving it away just yet.

[It's still theirs. It's something that has always been theirs, and he doesn't want to give that up.]

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