You know what everyone needs after rampant robotic attacks and another iteration of clone wars? A vacation! That’s right everyone, you deserve this. CERES understands what you need. CERES is here for you all the time, so never doubt that this is a pleasure colony, and they are here to look after all of your needs. Kick your feet up, relax, and let CERES Recreation and Activity Necessity Keepers (Team RANK, that is) set you up with your ideal getaway.
It’s as if you can sense the incoming relaxation and luxury before you even completely finish loading. There’s the warmth encompassing your entire body as your code gets transferred into this particular ViViD Level. A cool, refreshing breeze hits you. The sounds of waves gently lapping against the coast fill you with relaxation. The sun, the sand, the surfs, it’s all there – welcome to the beach, baby!
An echoing greeting message from the ocean comes next, if you can translate it.
 OOOOOOOOOOOOHMAHH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHD.
YOOOOOOOOOOOORRRALL SOOOOOOOOOOOOO KYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT.
KYOOOOOOOOOOOT EEEENAAAAUUUUUUUF TOOOOOOOOOOOOO EEEEEEEEEEEEEEET.
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PHASE I [ 08 00 ] That said, isn’t that breeze a little… too strong? It feels like it’s brushing up against all of you, if you know what I mean. When you open your eyes and look down, it becomes rather clear why. It seems that you’ve found yourself in some pretty interesting attire. Everyone. No exceptions. You appear to have two options – be overcome and scream like the Victorian maiden your heart says you are, or strut like a model in this stuff. Turn some heads! Work that up do!
But don’t worry, we’re also conscious about safety here at CERES! Therefore everyone’s also been provided a pair of super high-tech safety-tested appendage protection floatation devices (STAPFD for short.)
At least everyone around you is caught in the same sort of attire – and everyone around you also appears to be stuck inside a giant sand castle. It’s entirely malleable to what you want it to be! Want to see a fancy sand bidet? Feel like adding a sand statue in your honor? Think that wall should now be a door? Well, with enough perseverance, you can make it happen!
Just uh, be careful about getting sand in your… everywhere.
PHASE II [ 1000 ] Someone broke it. Not pointing any fingers, even though you sure do seem like a prime suspect, but someone broke it.
It almost starts like an earthquake with how the castle starts to rumble, the sand shaking right beneath your feet. And then the walls right next to you start to cave in followed promptly by the ceiling right… above your head. Oh dear. The sand starts to run and fall, losing its structure and shape. The hallway behind you starts to cave in, ceiling first and then the walls follow suit. Now the sand really is getting everywhere – but not just uncomfortable places. It’s in your hair, your eyes, your nose…. this sure doesn’t seem like a pleasant way to go!
Best to start running – there’s a trusty drawbridge to get over the moat (because what’s a sandcastle without a moat?) but who knows how long until that, too, is going to give way? Best to cross over it before it starts to shake and disappear too. Or if you don’t make it, hopefully you can land some pretty impressive airtime to make it to the other side!
If not, well...there'll be the sensation of sand crushing down upon you, filling your mouth and eyes, and you won't be able to breathe at all – and then you're alive again on the beach (but possibly in yet another new, uncomfortable, skimpy swimsuit). Honestly, be more careful, would you?
PHASE III [ 1200 ] However, once you do make it to the other side, it’s all smooth sailing from there! Or is it? Hah, as they say, life sure can be a beach.
Which is what this is.
Welcome to your Beach Episode, folks. Now that you’ve made it out of the collapsing sand castle, you’ve made it to the luxurious, picturesque golden coastline. Sure, you’re coughing up fine, luxurious, sand dust right now and you’ve definitely gotten sand in all of your crevices thanks to your swimsuit, but that’s okay! Go take a soak in the ocean or something or cool off with a smoothie. There’s a smoothie shack off into the distance, complete with a long chalkboard with… well, probably a few familiar names? And some unfamiliar ingredients. Sounds appetizing right?
That said, once you do ingest some of the smoothie with the name of a newcomer, you might suddenly find yourself feeling a bit… different. You’ll be taking on some of their traits, one of the most intense parts of their personality – or you might need to take a second to sit down because you’re suddenly seeing one of their memories. Whoa. What do they actually put in this stuff?
PHASE IV [ 1500 ] For the brave souls that venture out into the water, you have even more adventures waiting for you. Anyone who’s swimming around, wading in the water—hell, even looking at the water is getting scooped up and deposited in one of these giant orbs. But don’t take up too much room, because someone else is getting shoved right in there with you. Time to get cozy with your new friend, because it's only going to get worse as the waves begin to carry you out into this big, blue, virtual ocean. Hopefully the choppy waves don’t bounce you around too much or – well, you could always get really friendly with a stranger! Why not?
At least until it’s made very clear that fresh air does not make it back into these balls. That seems like a bit of a design flaw. Now what? Fight the other person who’s inhaling all your air? Suffer through it for swimsuit-clad fun? Or if you break it…. well, you sure are stranded out in the ocean. Or are you?
After enough flailing, you’ll be met by a giant, dumb-looking creature who will then eat you whole.
Everything goes dark. This is surely the end --
And then you're in Cerealia proper; it seems that was the exit to the level (but why there?) and you'll find yourself either in one of the fountains or the pond in the park. Either way, you'll be very, very well. And this time, that's not virtual. But hey, at least you'll have all of your stuff with you.
BONUS [ xxxx ] Do you hear that?
Anyone idle on the beach will hear a distant melody coming from further out into the ocean. It’s a beautiful, elegant song that automatically makes the listener stop what they’re doing and immediately wander toward the noise. It takes you a moment to recall – it takes a moment to think about anything now, really – but you remember hearing the smoothie shack owner say something about mermaids populating the beach. Could this be their song calling out to you? Whether you would normally abide by this kind of call or not, you find your feet walking further and further out into the water, the shallows lapping up to your ankles and up and up as you are drawn in by the song.
A rather classic song, though the usual instances of French are also replaced with the very enticing, enchanting nonsense promise of omelette du fromage........and then they try to drown you.
[ Remember to apply proper warnings on threads with sensitive or inappropriate material and do let a mod know if your thread careens off into maiming or canoodling so we can lock the log. ] |
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Inquisitor Lavellan | OTA
[First and foremost comes the thought of ‘Creators, it sure is cold in here’. Then, and only then, does Lavellan think to look down at her attire.]
[Or the somewhat NSFW lack thereof.]
[Between her lack of clothing, and the giant sandcastle ceilings loftily looming overhead, she feels as though she should be… concerned? Ashamed? Seeking some sort of cover-up? Trying to figure out what those stupid air-filled things on her shoulders are?]
[But suddenly, something clicks. That little voice in the back of her mind, occasionally a shouter, occasionally far too preoccupied to say a darn thing in even the most dire of situations, summarizes the entirety of her luck, life, and lackadaisical tendencies thus far:]
[‘Fuck it.’]
[She doesn’t say that aloud, manners above all else, but Lavellan also can’t help but nod in agreement, visible to everyone around her, and totally audible in what she says next to anyone who’ll listen.]
It could always be worse!
[Phase III]
[The closest Lavellan has ever gotten to the beach includes some areas of Crestwood, the smaller lakes of the Hinterlands, and the dreary, yet fascinating, cliffs of The Storm Coast. In all scenarios, sandy banks and warm sunshine never quite hit the mark as it did here in ViViD. She sucks in a deep breath of that salty air and lets the sunlight heat up her skin.]
[Granted, this is after the Great Sandcastle Collapse of 20XX, Dragon Date Unknown, so her deep breath is met with a coughing fit, and her barely-there bikini is of absolutely no help whatsoever, but she can’t ask for better circumstances. Not when her time with the Inquisition has taught her to be grateful for anything going right. So, she’ll take it in stride, wiping sand from her arms and legs as she slowly makes her way to the tiny smoothie shack, enticed by the sight of chairs and who she believes to be a bartender.]
[The drink list pulls a giant grin from her lips, and Lavellan can’t help but laugh as she turns to whoever else may be looking to enjoy a quick drink and the immediate regret that’ll follow.]
Any recommendations, friend?
[Phase IV]
[This was supposed to be a fun place. A happy place. What the hell.]
[At least that’s the thought that crosses Lavellan’s mind as she’s scooped up into one of those giant transparent balls, forced to bob along the waves with whoever happens to get caught up with her.]
I just wanted to swim!!!
[She whines, saying what we’re all clearly thinking.]
[WILDCARD]
[DITTO.]
iv!
But no, he's stuck in this bubble with a stranger now, bundled up in towels and trying to figure out the best way to stand upright without crashing into her or tipping over or sending their dumb orb spinning. It sure is moving a lot, though... The ocean Is Not Kind, he's quickly finding.]
I think I'm gonna be sick...
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[But maybe, just maybe with some hard work and dedication, they can find a way to steady their bubble and roll back to shore.]
Please hold it in until we've safely returned--ah!--to solid ground.
There has to be a way out of here. It shouldn't take too long if we work together.
[She tries to reassure him, even though they're drifting out to sea. Fast.]
[Mostly she just doesn't want puke all over the inside of the ball.]
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SO, in the interest of not grossing himself out, grossing this stranger out, and making their journey even worse than it already is, he just nods and claps a hand over his mouth for a few seconds.]
Ugh... Y'know, this is my first time even being in the ocean properly at all. Everyone talks about how great it is, but this is the worst!
[Normally people don't get shuttled into hamster balls either, but how can he be sure!!]
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I've never had a chance to swim in the ocean either.
However, from my understanding, this isn't a typical occurrence! Maybe next time will be better.
[Basically, they're both screwed unless they're saved by the Giant Doofy Whale of Yore.]
['Saved'.]
[In any case, it seems like the ball has steadied enough (for now) to allow for them both to regain their bearings as best they can. What better time for introductions? So Lavellan holds out a hand in as polite a handshake as she can pull off while the waves gently rock their bubble.]
[You know. In the middle of the ocean.]
[...She's not the best at timing.]
Inquisitor Lavellan, at your service.
May I ask for your name as well, friend?
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III
[Darin is just sitting at the counter with his face tilted to the side. As thirsty, exhausted, and confused as he is, even he forces a thousand yard stare so as not to offend.]
Listen, if you can figure out where we're supposed to keep any money in these get ups, I'll buy you whatever drink you want.
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[I mean just look at some of this stuff.]
Am I to take it you haven't had a chance to try anything yet?
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In fact, I've paid enough to order at least three or four!
[With that, Darin claps his hand on the counter to get the smoothie shack attendee's attention. When the attendee comes over, Darin gets right in their face.]
Look at my face right now. See how confused I am? I've been like this since I woke up. Given the fact that you have a drink here that is paid for in confusion, I want the biggest one of those.
And you know what? I think this place has overcharged me. So you might as well get one for my friend here, too.
[At this point it's impossible to tell if Darin is brilliant at gaming the system or completely losing his mind.]
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[Lavellan glances at the drink list again to see what Darin is on about, and can't help but chuckle a bit before she regards the attendee with the ghost of her smile lingering on her face.]
What my friend means to say is if you could please give us a drink apiece, it would be greatly appreciated.
[She flashes a grin-- a winning smile, if we're going with specifics-- before playfully elbowing Darin.]
Oh my, it looks like I've paid for my own!
[...see keywords.]
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1/2
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i
[ The world can't handle seeing so much of his chest hair, but now they don't have a choice, because he's in a similarly tiny bathing suit. Probably just a speedo. ]
I think I look great.
[ Check out these guns. He grins a little and winks—he's kidding, yeah, but no need to get all riled up over a lack of clothing. At least she never had to be naked in a cage? No one gets to know about that. ]
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[But Lavellan finds herself and clears her throat, doing her best to regain what little propriety she could muster outside of some major diplomatic event.]
I would be inclined to agree.
[It's weird, treating him as a friend when he'd (supposedly) never met her before, but there's not much she can do otherwise. Cutting ties is absolutely out of the question, and regarding him with anything less than the usual warmth is far too negative for the plucky little elf.]
[Gross.]
So this is normal?
[Something's missing.]
[Oh right. Air quotes.]
Er... "normal"?
[Better.]
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And she compliments him. She's good in his book, far as he's concerned. ]
More or less. Actually, less, since there's less murder. Haven't been here that long myself but that's the general gist I got from most people I spoke with. Lots of murder.
[ Isn't that grand? ]
This seems like a break. Go figure.
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[Go reevaluate your life, Varric.]
I sincerely hope those people were exaggerating.
[They probably weren't.]
In any case, if this is a break, then it's all the more reason for us to enjoy it!
Any ideas?
phase i!
I guess it's good enough that nothing has tried to kill us. [A beat.] Yet, anyway.
[Optimism.]
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[Speaking of, Lavellan turns to Touka with a smile, as if they're experiencing just another day in the neighborhood, funky swimwear and all.]
Is it commonplace for things to do that?
[Because if that's the case, then it's just like home.]
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Really commonplace. They're not very concerned with keeping us alive, here.
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i!
Yes, you could be dead.
[ a pause and -- ]
Or gutted. Left for dead. Eviscerated. Hung from a noose. Eaten by a dragon. Possessed by an abomination. Set on fire. Chopped into little tiny itty bitty bits. A victim of genocide.
[ hawke, why are you such an ass? ]
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[Lavellan would probably have something to say about it, if she weren't so gosh darn elated to see everybody's favorite sassy bird champion. Elated enough that she doesn't hear Hawke's peculiar brand of asshattery and instead rushes up to her and clasps her hands. It's not a full-blown hug like the one Varric met upon their (one-sided) reunion, but close enough to make it--Hawkeward--when the bad news will inevitably pop up.]
[She doesn't learn, this one.]
I'm so happy to see you, Hawke!!!
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oh boy, this is awkward.
hawke's arms go upwards in surprise and she just sort of looks awkwardly down at the elf around her torso and also awkwardly pats her head a little. well, geez. this is... not what she expected at all!! ]
Yes... I am... also happy to see you, [ come up with a title, come up with a title!! ] Messere. Because I definitely remember you and the fact that we are friends. [ ??? ]
[ well, she's assuming so at least. hawke's had enemies that would launch themselves at her in a hug too so she's not entirely ruling that out. ]
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i!
at the sudden verbal commentary, he turns to look toward lavellan (making certain to keep his gaze firmly on her face). that... that is actually a good point, good enough to get a small smile out of him.]
Yes, I suppose so. Should inappropriate attire be the worst thing that occurs today then we'll all be rather lucky.
[as uncomfortable as this is, it definitely could be worse. ...hopefully this didn't jinx them.]
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[Flynn's efforts to keep his gaze firmly on Lavellan's face don't go unnoticed, and she does her best to keep eye contact with a friendly smile.]
There we go! Finally, someone who gets it!
Your name, friend?
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the friendly smile gets fully returned, along with eye contact getting kept.]
Flynn Scifo. Might I inquire of your own?
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Phase III
Oh yeah, definitely. I personally recommend... a water with lemon. [There's a hint of a smile on his face to punctuate his joke.]
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From the looks of it, water may be the only thing they don't serve.
And if they do, they're likely to charge far too much for it.
[...Her jokes are even worse than his.]
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Hey, you could always try the ocean! But I guess the water there can be a real as-salt on your taste buds!
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