prank wars but against you in particular [OPEN]

[madhatted]

Who: Xerxes Break, Oz Vessalius, and YOU, you poor, unfortunate soul
When: Today!! I guess... it doesn't matter
Where: Various
What: Break and Oz are bored, which means it's time to playfully (???) terrorize the populace.
Rating/Warning: these two are a menace

---

promptprank one ; gotta go fast
[It sure is a great day to be out in the park! The sun is shining, the alien fish are burbling away in their ponds waiting for victims to tumble in, and - something seems to be rolling down the pavement... A closer listen will indeed confirm that the noise is coming from something wheeled, but what? A rogue shopping cart? One of the street-cleaning droids? A nightmare from the 90s coming back to haunt the future??

Anyone who decides to look behind themselves will discover that it's definitely the latter. Two harbingers of destruction are zooming directly toward you at warp speeds on their brightass heelys, and it seems like there is either no intention of stopping present, or they just don't know how to stop... It might be the latter for Oz, who heralds their arrival with a distressed-sounding:]

WAH—!!

[DODGE OR DIE.]


promptprank two ; this is what the descent to hell sounds like

[ Maybe the park isn't for you, so you're out in one of the shopping districts instead. Usually, the streets are fairly busy, bustling with a little activity, but not so much today. It's as if the people have been scared away... But that's ridiculous, right? Surely nothing bad is going to happen!!

You poor, naive fool.

If you had hopes of enjoying a day of shopping, you might be sorely disappointed when Break and Oz stand from where they had been watching and waiting to strike. This isn't too strange, since they play it cool and just stay a bit behind. That is, until they pull out some very odd looking things and start to begin following you. However it seems these things are instruments, since they start to play them, but the song they play...

It's pretty much the worst thing in the world.

It's easy to imagine buildings falling, skies cracking, seas boiling, Cthulhu rising, all this to this song.

But you wouldn't punch an old man and a child, would you...??? ]


promptprank three ; let's limbo some more
[ Well, as it turns out, the otamatones are pretty dangerous just because they have the most likelihood of resulting in bodily injury to Break and Oz. But these two are not ones to be deterred, so instead, they change tactics for their pranks.

A bit later in the day, you'll see Oz and Break wearing matching costumes, so it seems like they're doing a promotional activity for one of the nearby stores! Break is holding a pole, and Oz has the blindfold, so when you approach, Break gives a friendly, jovial smile before he speaks to you. ]

Excuse me! We're doing a special promotion, today only— In celebration of CERES' official commemoration day to limbo, we're holding something of a contest.

[ He nods to the pole, then holds it out for Oz to take the other end. ]

If you can make it to the third level, we're giving away a 500 credit gift card! Think you can manage~?


promptprank four ; tping gone wrong
[Unfortunately, all good pranking streaks must come to an end... And the end of this particular trail sure is an experience.

If you're particularly lucky(???), you'll arrive at the scene a little bit after shit has already gone down. The immediate area is covered in something that looks like finely shredded paper which, upon closer inspection, is definitely toilet paper. What happened here?? IT'S A MYSTERY... A mystery that might have something to do with the two hooligans high-tailing it out of there carrying something rather large and bulky.

As for those with a little less luck, you can catch Oz and Break in the act, trying to load a roll of toilet paper onto the front of their gently borrowed snowblower. Clearly they are up to something nefarious and should be stopped...!!]

Oh, I think I found it!

[--But before any dramatic heroics can go down, Captain Moron Oz of the moron fleet flicks on the power switch and the sheer force behind the industrial-strength slowblower literally blasts their entire roll to pieces and probably knocks over a few things nearby. Some flyers on the nearby billboard, a sign board out in front of a shop - a prized potted plant, maybe? Whatever it is, it's probably not something the owner will be happy about when they find out... If they find out. Snitches get stitches.]


OOC — Pick a prompt, and both Break and Oz will reply! For prompts 1 and 4, the tag order is You -> Oz -> Break, and for prompts 2 and 3, it's You -> Break -> Oz!

Comments

three!!

[kirkwalled]

[ today hawke is working hard at removing graffiti which means she's not really doing much and instead just sort of loitering in various places while dressed like a janitor. her name tag even reads "hawke", she's really proud. a nearby shop suffered some recent vandalism and she's taking her sweet ass time cleaning up the giant phallus on the window.

then she hears break and pretty much abandon the job, walking over to the both of them. ]

Five hundred credits? Really? For something as simple as this?

[ whatever "this" is. HAWKE DOESN'T KNOW but it's just a stick so it can't be that complicated. ]

[madhatted]

[ Break nods, since from that alone, he knows he already has her hooked... There's a certain person to be drawn in by this ploy, and it's the person whose eyes absolutely light up as soon as money is involved. Alas, poor Hawke. ]

Ahh, but it's not so simple~! The first one is easy, but two and three...

[ He gestures animatedly to Oz with a smile. ]

Well, we can't just make it so easy that we give them away to everyone. But there's at least a 50 credit prize for the attempt!

[harepiece]

[They're terrors and they need to be stopped...

But Oz just nods enthusiastically, taking the pole with his free hand once it's offered and making a vague sweeping gesture through the air with the one that's holding the blindfold.]

Only a few people will really have a chance at winning the grand prize! Is it still something that you would want to try out?

[ALSO SMILING. Who wouldn't trust these two??]

one... I WAS TEMPTED WITH THE OTAMATONES THOUGH

[manolia]

[Chibi looks up at the rattle rattle nyoooooom he's hearing, and...]

[What's this pack of idiots doing?? Furthermore, if they get any closer, they're going to damage the Important Components in his bag, probably knock off his hat, and everything's going to be a huge mess. (Are those... Shoes with wheels on them? The things people will do for thrills...) With them hurtling towards him at that speed, he can either move himself or move them.]

[So, without skipping a beat, he puts up a blue-ringed portal in front of himself (at an angle to the ground, so they can slide right in), then another behind. Now, the two of them are the ones who'd best move... Because if the spatial-distortion-related motion sickness gets them and they can't land on their feet, they'll fall right on their asses.]

the otomatones are true beauty IT'S A TOUGH CHOICE

[harepiece]

[Oz isn't exactly a stranger to spatial distortions - or distortions in general, as it were - but that sure doesn't mean he's prepared to deal with random portals popping up in front of his Path Of Destruction™. Hopefully Break will manage better than he did (WHEN DOESN'T HE THOUGH) because Oz is definitely landing ass-side in a dazed whirlwind.]

Wha— [WHAT. What was that!! He's quickly glancing behind himself, but the combined dizziness just makes him tip over a little. And yet, he still manages a single, careful:] Are you okay?

[okay but is he talking to Break or the stranger it's a mystery.]

[madhatted]

[ Despite everything to the contrary that would imply it, Break is actually completely blind, so the portal comes as a complete surprise to him. It's an odd sensation for him, and one that immediately makes him seize up as if he's ready to fight, though that's just a deeply ingrained reaction.

He's at least free of the motion sickness without his sight, though its odd to tumble out all the same. He rolls much more gracefully (or really, it looks almost lazy), then when he comes to a stop with his arms extended, he looks towards... Well, where he thinks the portal-culprit is. He's not actually sure, and he's sure not concerned about Oz. ]

Ah, what a strange trick~! That's real magic. You know, I use the same thing to appear in cabinets, Oz.

[ is he joking... we'll never know ]

how many times have i heard that song aka two...

[endworld]

[Unfortunately (fortunately for their well-being???), they picked someone impossible to anger, meaning that they'll be spared punching from him, at least...

Seren was admittedly wondering why the streets were empty, but he's also as carefree as hell, so he went on ahead anyway... and now he knows why. Well then.

He pauses, because that sure is an Interesting Song, before trying to find the right words to say/trying to figure out WHAT TO THINK ABOUT THIS. In the end, he settles for—]

Wow. How long did you two practice for that?

[madhatted]

[ Honestly, Break is amazed that someone listened to the whole thing. Since he definitely didn't stop playing... Oz may have, but Oz is capable of mercy. Regardless, Break twirls his instrument in his hand like it's a baton, then laughs quite jovially. ]

Ahhh, quite a long time, prob~ably~? What do you think, Oz~?

[ at least break seems to be enjoying himself ]

[harepiece]

[Oz didn't, either... He may be capable of mercy but these otomatones are also New and Fun, which means mercy comes slightly after enjoyment. But hey! At least they got one of the least punchy guys in the city!!

Once he's done with the song, he looks quite proud...]

It definitely took a lot of time to get everything just right! [The definition of "right" here may be slightly skewed...] What did you think?

two!

[allthreefourths]

[ ....... thor almighty.

this is just-- what is that. he just came out here for some good old fashioned retail therapy (no, not really, he just needed to pick something up), and he's subjected to this. who did he offend? who did he murder?

why is oz doing this to him?

but he knows how this works. this is like when snotlout or the twins feel like making his day Difficult with a capital D, and he's completely used to this. this is when you ignore them. this is when you ignore them and then they get bored and stop. so follow away, because he has the patience of a saint (spoilers: he doesn't) and he's just going to go on walking and staring at shop windows in interest, like he doesn't have the sound of vikings singing off-key in the shower trailing behind him.

... except his brows are furrowed and it's totally noticeably working but he's. just going to continue ignoring anyway. ]

[madhatted]

[ Honestly, Hiccup deserves a medal of valor for making it through the entire song. The horrible, hellish melody comes to an end, and it would seem his soul is safe from the clutches of hell. Surely, they can't know another song!!

Except I'm totally kidding, and they definitely know another song.

Break ends their rendition of Greensleves with a sigh, then turns to Oz as he waves his instrument with a clownish flourish. They're still not stopping their pursuit, and there's definitely something about the conversation that follows that feels like it's directed at Hiccup more than being a genuine conversation. ]

Hmm, what next, Oz~? I think that one song, the tragic one...

[ He uses his other hand to point, and there's a laugh in his voice. ]

Ah, yes! "My Heart Will Go On," wasn't it~?

[harepiece]

[HE'S SORRY HICCUP this is the price you pay for being on relatively decent terms with Oz, who thinks that the definition of friendship is bullying people gently...

He sure is being a good sport about it, though! Or... or for being able to ignore them this long, either way. But his torment is JUST BEGINNING because of course he turns to Break when he's addressed and carries on the pseudo-conversation, like this is all just totally normal. A normal thing people do in their spare time... Following people around with otomatones until they come across someone who legitimately just punches them both into the ground.]

Oh! That was a good one. A nice song with a lot of impact! On the count of three, then?

[And as soon as the countdown finishes up (a very enthusiastic THREE-TWO-ONE!! on Oz's part), Hiccup will be serenaded with the start of a brand new song... He puts a lot of oomph into this one......]

one!

[immobileyes]

[ It sure is a nice day to be out in the park! Mary's still working on that Stamina in Public thing, and avoiding the alien fish because she knows they thirst for blood, and so far, all is well.

Until Life (or Oz and Break) happens. Mary happens to be woefully unprepared for visions of terror on rolly-shoes, and "WAH" might as well mean "Well, A thing might just Happen, but go ahead and take your time squinting at us and don't actually move until right before we slam into you", because that's apparently how she's construing it.

One swaying step to the side is probably not going to save her from a collision, but she probably (hopefully) won't die. ]

[harepiece]

[HE'S SORRY THEY RUINED YOUR PARK TIME, MARY... What was a glorious prank has now become Impending Death.

Okay, so he knows Mary isn't actually that fragile, but he's still very concerned! And also suddenly regretting the fact that he still hasn't fully mastered the brakes on these things!! (Rather, it's that his heely wheels don't really pop in and out in the way they should, but this was the last pair and he loves them too much to try out a new one...)

Once he actually spots who's ahead, and the fact that she's very much not getting out of the way, he'll let out a super eloquent:]

MARY, NO—!!

[Because surely that will help encourage her to move to the side! But no, it's just a swaying step, and then she's going to be the bowling pin to this big dummy's bowling ball. Hopefully Break manages to sidestep them, but on the plus side, he's a scraggly old man so it's not like he weighs that much.]

[madhatted]

[ This is Break, so of course not only does he manage to sidestep them, but he in fact elegantly wheels around them both as the two dumb not-children collapse to their doom. He's literally skating circles around them, even, since Break often forgets he's actually [redacted] years old, so he instead defaults to the maturity of roughly a thirteen year old. ]

Haha, oh dear~! You're both still alive, I hope.

[ He doesn't actually sound that concerned, though that's also mostly because he knows they wouldn't die. Probably. ]

four!

[keep_hope_alive]

[The moment he saw the two with the toilet papers and leaf blower, he knew this was going to be a good show.

Quickly, he grabbed himself a hotdog and a soda, and sat on the curb to watch the two unveil their master plan. Then watch then botch it in a fantastic display of Murphy's law. He was expecting a show and they did not disappoint.]

Missed a spot!

[He points at a nearby sign that's still standing. Might want to cover your bases boys.]

[harepiece]

[LOOK... Look. It definitely wasn't their most thought-out prank. That one's a tie between the otomatones which required a lot of practice, and the limbo which required the obtaining of two stupid outfits.

Still, Oz hadn't expected an audience and jumps a little at the sudden call, since he's already in Spooked Mode thanks to the gentle down of toilet paper shreds drifting around them. GLANCING OVER TO THE STRANGER... and then toward the sign that he's pointing at, and then making a face that sums up his feelings nicely. Why.]

No one ever said they were this strong...!

[That's definitely the problem here.]

one.

[undaunts]

[wah????

Ruby was just having a peaceful walk okay.... a peaceful walk with Zwei, of course, because you have to walk your adorable corgis!!! Don't let your adorable corgis get anything less than adorably pudgy, this is a PSA.

Either way, when she hears that distressed noise, she turns rapidly, just in time to dive out of the way of those wheelie fiends and then she does the natural thing.]

Zwei, fetch!

[With a cheery yap, that corgi in all of his stubby-legged glory suddenly blazes forward in full speed, and lunges forward to grab the back of Oz's shirt in his cute corgi teeth, dragging him to a stop. Who knew that RWBY dogs were so stupidly strong--

Sorry, Break, he only has the teeth for one person at a time.]

[harepiece]

[Oz is the one who needs the most help, honestly, so it was a good call on her part...

THAT SAID, as helpful as this cute little corgi with its stubby little corgi legs might be, being pulled to a sudden stop by a fierce dog is still surprising and definitely enough to upset his dumb wheeled balance. Excuse him while he topples over like a graceless swan.]

Ah—!! Ouch... [BUT WAIT A SECOND, he heard "Zwei" (alarming) and he saw a dog-blur (also alarming), so he's soon looking around for said dog. HE'LL FOCUS ON RUBY IN A SECOND.

He's also probably partially sprawled in Break's way, but what can you do.]

four

[uncoincidental]

[Sheba is lucky! ...kind of. She arrives just in time to see that it looks like the immediate area has been coated in freshly fallen snow made out of toilet paper, which is weird enough. Of course, she also arrives just in time for whoever owns the place to be happening upon it himself, and he's not in the best of moods.]

It wasn't me! I didn't do it!

[AND THERE THEY ARE, THE HOOLIGANS HIGHTAILING IT AWAY... Sheba's just going to run after them because like hell is she getting blamed for this.]

Hey! Get back here!

[Does she realize that's Oz up ahead? No. If she did, she might be willing to help him cover this up, but right now she's chasing them down with the intention of clearing her own name... whoops.]

[harepiece]

[UNFORTUNATELY FOR SHEBA, even though Oz can recognize her voice, he's also too worried about becoming a new convict to stop and be reasonable about this. NOPE, HE'S JUST BOOKING IT...]

I don't know what you're talking about—!!

[She hasn't even blamed him for anything yet. This is it, the end of his days, he's going to spend the rest of his time in Tellus in jail...]

One but omg they are all glorious XDDD

[fierybluebird]

[Luckily Marco is used to dealing with rollerskating morons. On ships, no less, and sometimes his crew even practiced underwater, because pirates and common sense were rarely found together, to be perfectly honest. Especially since common sense did not get you to an elite position in the world's most dangerous seas with the world's most dangerous crew.]

[Unfortunately for Oz & Break, Marco has not grown out of his older methods of dealing with said pirates upon reflex.]

[Which means he reflexively sticks out a leg PRETTY MUCH LIKE AN IRON BAR, and braces the other one into the ground with suddenly... Bird talons?! Yes. Bird talons. Huge ones. Like ostriches would be impressed. It's a thing.]

[Anyway, it's advisable to grab onto said sticking out leg in order to reach a full stop, otherwise you might fall back. Either way, Marco's methods of "helping" are not the best.]

[This also doesn't work HALF as well as he thinks when he's not cutting off a corridor.]

[He doesn't care though, he's not the one who'll get hurt.]

[That's also sort of the nature of "Tough Love" among pirates. If they fell, they had to learn to get stronger.]

LMFAO im glad you enjoyed!!

[harepiece]

[BIRD TALONS... That's pretty distracting, honestly, and Oz doesn't really need any more distractions than the two currently on his feet. Adding more to the pot just basically ensures that there's no way he'll be able to catch his balance in time - which he definitely doesn't OOPS.

So he'll go gracefully colliding with this stranger's leg like a confused flamingo!! But on his way down, he actually manages to catch himself by his wheels instead of landing flat on his ass. A MIRACLE. So away he goes, gently wheeling off to the side before he tips over into the grass.]

...I don't think I can feel my stomach anymore.

[THAT GUY'S LEG WAS MADE FROM STEEL.]

One

[niceguypose]

[What if someone chooses a third option?

Rock Lee, having recovered for several days now, is now going out for an intense jog. He happens to be heading directly towards the two wheeled fiends, with no signs of stopping.]

A challenge?! I'm so proud!! [And so, he stands his ground and keeps jogging forward. It seems that he's ready to body-slam Oz when the time comes to collide. Who will survive?!]

[harepiece]

[Oz rues the day that he tried to pretend he was even remotely athletic in front of Rock Lee, truly. Now more than ever. Now, when there's no way he can break or dodge, so the only thing he can do is raise his arms up and cross them in front of himself in a half-assed attempt at a guard. HE'S GONNA DIE.]

NO, LEE, NO—

[There it is, his death yodel, as he careens directly into what will surely be the green leotard equivalent of a brick wall.]