estoria | I'm a whole lot better [CLOSED]

Entry tags:

sanji,
zoro roronoa

I'm a whole lot better [CLOSED]

Who: Zoro

serving_love
When: IC 7/19 during the event
Where: Straw Hat Apartments, Occupancy 2
What: Neither Zoro nor Sanji have ever told anyone else in the crew where they spent their two years training. Spirit fox shenanigans are going to force them to find out each other's secret.
Rating/Warning: nothing I can think of, maybe some sensitive topics discussed?

[Zoro has been on the slightest of edges since the day the world glitched around him, and though he still chalks it up to a technology problem inside ViViD, since it happened while he was in the gravity room, Weiss's information makes him wonder. Was he supposed to be in that train tunnel? Was he supposed to die?

And then this place just gets worse on him today, he wasn't sure for a good number of hours but now he's certain there's a weird white fox trailing him around. Only not a real one, no, it's all wispy and shit, and whenever he turns to look at the flitter of white, gauzy movement in his peripheral sight, it darts away, avoiding his eye. He only saw it once for the fox-shape it is, on his way back from the dojo, and though he hurried his pace to get indoors without it and hopefully trap it outside, he's pretty sure he just saw it drift through the kitchen. Dammit.

He is not drunk enough for this.

He hasn't even hardly settled into the couch cushions and he's up again, pacing, trying to see where the ghostly fox went. Maybe he can chase it out? Maybe he can find a fresh bottle of sake in the kitchen while he's at it. Cook's around, though...]

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Luffy knows about Zeff and all that.

[Takes another swig and then hands the bottle back.]

The other one, hell no. I was pretty much content taking that shitty tale to the grave. You?

[shakes his head, taking the bottle and resting it on his knee for a moment]

Never told anybody anything. I don't really want 'em knowing about Hawk-eyes, either. It's...kinda personal.

[hence, the very deep gulp of sake he takes to follow]

Well, too late, cook, this damn place made it so now I know your secret.

Kinda personal?

[Jesus, you think? Sanji shakes his head a bit.]

Well, not like I'm gonna tell anyone, at least. You ain't even told Luffy about... [He pauses, thinking back to the memory he saw. Her name was in there somewhere...] Kuina-chan?

[That surprises him a little. Sanji just kinda figured that if anyone would know any of their stories, it'd be Luffy.

He snorts at Zoro's next comment, and whether it's because the alcohol has him feeling pleasantly warm and relaxed or because the sudden casualness of this conversation has him off his guard, either way he's in a place where it seems totally natural to reach out and bump his fist against Zoro's shoulder, giving him a light shove.]

You know part of it.

[And say shit like that, apparently. His nose scrunches up immediately as he clearly WTFs at himself for letting that slip out, but whatever. If Zoro didn't see the part with the goddamn dress, then it's not like Sanji has to explain himself.]

[the name jolts him briefly, Zoro bristles for a moment and then relaxes.]

...you even got that part. Shit. No, I haven't said anything, not even to Luffy.

[that's all he's inclined to say about it, though, nothing about it being personal or anything. His gaze follows the fist to his shoulder, and then drops shyly, missing the look that crosses Sanji's face.]

Yeah, well, I'm guessing you don't know everything about where I was, either. [or else there would have been some kind of comment about his eye, because really, how do you gloss that over unless you don't know?]

Nah... Guess I don't.

[Eyes him speculatively for a moment, wondering what all there is to know. But after a beat his gaze drops to his hand, the back of which is still brushing Zoro's shoulder as he's now got his arm propped on the back of the couch and hasn't bothered to pull back at all.

They're gonna have to spar tomorrow or something. Just really try to beat the shit out of each other. Anything to balance out all this opening up they're doing right now.]

How old were you when you left the dojo?

[...Actually, how old were you when you GOT to the dojo? How did you even end up there to begin with? What the hell happened to your parents??

SO MANY SHITTY QUESTIONS.

Sanji will try to refrain from asking the super nosy ones, don't worry.]

[SO MANY GODDAMN QUESTIONS someday, maybe.

Zoro glances at that hand and makes absolutely zero moves to dislodge it. He feels like he's on the edge of something but he's not experienced enough to know where to go from here. He'll have to think about it, while they're doing all this opening up.]

Seventeen. I'd already been on my own for two years when I met Luffy.

[it's like...it's the simplest thing, but he's never told anyone. Zoro's learning to share, though.]

Edited 2016-06-26 00:13 (UTC)

Doing your shitty pirate hunter thing?

[Sometimes it's weird to think that he'd heard of Zoro before he met him. And that such an infamous name in the East Blue would eventually become one of his nakama.]

Made a pretty good name for yourself doing that.

[snorts! And takes another sip of sake before resting the bottle on Sanji's nearby knee. Without taking his hand off it]

It's not like I gave myself the name or anything. I was doing what I had to in order to survive, bounties were just the fastest way to get money. [Zoro smirks a bit, almost to himself] Maybe it wasn't as respectable as being a classy chef but it got me by.

[His eyes drop to take in the bottle briefly, but then he's back to looking at Zoro without making any move to dislodge it. And while he does absently note that they're sitting awfully close together, the thought doesn't feel like anything to be concerned about and again, he makes no move to slide farther down the couch. He's comfortable where he is, for whatever reason, the body heat Zoro's exuding seeping into his skin and making his face flush lightly just because he's warm.

Maybe also because of the sake.

And possibly—

...No, just those two things.]

Classy? [Barks out a laugh.] You saw the assholes I was working with. You could stick a shitty monkey in my suit and it'd still look classy next to those morons.

[Said fondly, of course.]

[You can blame the sake all you want, cook, Zoro is quite sober by comparison, even though the hand too close to his shoulder is making him flush very slightly over the bridge of his nose whenever he glances at it, like he's calculating the exact distance, which movement would require the least effort and still manage to look totally accidental, and whether he has it in him to make that move.

Shit, they've been in each other's laps before, why is this so hard? Extenuating circumstances be damned.]

I dunno, I don't think Luffy would look good in your suit at all.

[geddit, geddit? shitty monkey indeed]

[Well, that's the thing, isn't it? Sanji might not be able to walk away from drinking a fuckton of booze like Zoro can, but even he's not gonna get drunk off of what they've had so far tonight. He's maybe starting to get a little light-headed (and warm, there's still that), but that's it.

It just happens to be enough to be a convenient excuse.

Or he'll pretend it's enough, anyway.

It's apparently enough to find that funny, at least, though there's a somewhat delayed reaction on Sanji's part as he takes a second to make the connection, snorts, and then busts out into sniggers that he has to duck his head in an attempt to smother.

Because actually that was really dumb and probably doesn't warrant full blown laughter, dammit!]

Shit, tryin' to be clever all of a sudden, marimo? Look, not everyone can pull off a suit like me, okay?

[He lifts his head again and reaches out to snag the sake at the same time -- though not with the hand near Zoro's shoulder. And if his fingers brush against Zoro's on the bottle, it's his own fault because they're totally in the way.]

Luffy'd probably try to wear his shitty sandals and throw off the whole ensemble anyway.

[Muttered in a dry tone as he goes to take a drink.]

Of course he would, he's Luffy.

[Zoro won't say it but that's exactly why his fingers are still on the bottle. He lets go of it, and then lets his hand fall onto that knee in place of the bottle. It rests lightly, casually even, but it's there, in a place it's never voluntarily been before. Mr. Suave he's not, that's the best he can do on short notice. In fact, he's so bumbling that he can't think of something else to say to that, and drops his gaze to stare at his hand where it is. It wasn't his intention to call attention to it, but he is. Completely.]

[Sanji doesn't help matters, as it feels like his entire body jolts at that seemingly simply touch. The bottle never actually makes it to his mouth, and instead he just freezes with it about halfway there as his gaze also drops to the hand on his knee. And he could maybe play it off, act like it's completely okay that Zoro's apparently getting all handsy and shit because it really probably is nothing and just because Sanji's face is burning suddenly doesn't mean he has to make a big stink of things... In fact, he's already forcing himself to relax again, to just roll with it, except it becomes obvious quickly that Zoro's just...blatantly staring at where his hand is now resting, and how is Sanji supposed to pretend it's not A Thing if Zoro's gonna pointedly look at it?!

He manfully tries anyway, finally getting the bottle to his lips so he can take one very long, deep gulp of sake.

His stomach is doing all sorts of weird squirming things, though, and he forgets to add anything to the conversation. He's focusing on trying not to think about why Zoro would want to touch him. Never mind what his own hand has been doing for the last...ten? twenty? minutes.]

[Well there's just no getting out of it gracefully now, is there?

Zoro notices that blush (how could he not?) but he really can't tell if it's a good blush or a bad blush. Is he doing the right thing or pissing him off? Argh, how does the cook manage this with girls?

The sudden movement of bottle to lips snaps him out of it, and he looks up, trying to muster his resolve. It's easier to lean toward the hand nudging his shoulder, and as he does, Zoro goes with it, pressing further forward like he's going to do something unmistakable with his lips...

...only to chicken out at the last second and lean sharply away, letting out a gust of a breath in frustration. He jerks his hand back into his own lap.]

...sorry.

[Whoa, whoa, whoa. What the fuck??

Sanji's eyes grow wide as Zoro leans in, and he lowers the bottle in surprise -- almost like he's giving him an opening, which is not his intent. (He thinks. Probably.) His hand shifts mid-lean, turning so that he's palming Zoro's shoulder, fingers curling into the material of his shirt. It's a shocked, automatic reaction more than anything, done without a follow-up plan, but he's painfully aware that what he's not doing is shoving the other man back. Quite the opposite, actually, as it turns out that he tightens his grip when Zoro abruptly leans away again. Whether to stop him from going too far or...hnn.

He doesn't know.

Sanji really has no idea what his own goal was, but it certainly seemed like Zoro was going to... Like he was—

What the fuck?!

He blinks a few times, trying to clear his head and work out what exactly is going on here, but he comes up blank. He just barely manages to notice when Zoro stops touching him, and it's only then that Sanji finally yanks his own hand back in a startled sort of way.]

S'fine.

[Is his too-prompt response, uttered almost before Zoro even finishes getting his apology out. He feels like he should say something more, but he's not sure what.

Half a moment later, however, he's desperate for anything to break the sudden awkwardness in the air. When his eyes land on the nearly empty bottle, he decides to just go with that.]

...Don't tell me you let one shitty bottle of sake actually get to you. Hell, half a bottle. And you call me a lightweight.

[Ugh, that's...dammit, he's not sure if brushing it off is the best thing to do or not! What the hell is happening right now???]

Edited 2016-06-26 07:06 (UTC)

Shut up, it's not the sake! [snapped out a little too defensively. He dials it back quickly, shifting to the side and fiercely rubbing the back of his neck. It's awkward, all right, and that's probably Zoro's fault.]

Just...forget about it. I got ahead of myself.

[at least he isn't jumping off the couch and trying to escape, and as he sits there trying not to meet Sanji's eyes, he realizes the cook isn't leaving either. Didn't shove him off or yell or anything. Zoro keeps scuffing his hand through his hair and down his neck, the very vision of embarrassment, but he stays on the couch. It's still safer than wandering through the apartment with those little fuckers lurking.]

[Sanji instinctively bristles up as Zoro snaps at him, jerking his head away with a scowl. But it's wiped away seconds later as Zoro continues to speak, and he's left staring across the room in total confusion. Because saying it's not the sake implies that it's something else. Or that there's a something at all and it wasn't just some weird fluke that Zoro happened to lean that way while he was readjusting his position on the couch or some shit.

...Which would've seemed unlikely, but Sanji probably could've taken the excuse and run with it.

But this? This is Zoro looking incredibly embarrassed, which is something that rarely happens. But he's embarrassed and saying he got ahead of himself after he made a move like that, and Sanji's stomach quite abruptly does another flip, his chest tightening as his heart thumps loudly against his rib cage.

There's no way...

He remembers the conversation they had just last week, though. About how what catches Zoro's eye is people who can fight, and if they happen to be guys then so be it. Sanji hadn't thought to apply those qualifiers to himself, had never imagined he would need to, but now?

Now he wonders.

He also wonders how he feels about that, but he doesn't want to examine it too closely while they're both sitting here like this. There's mostly just nervous disbelief tingling under his skin, which annoys him and has his brow furrowing as he frowns at himself because he refuses to be nervous about anything. That makes it seem like he's anticipating something similar might happen again and he's not quite sure what he would do if it does. He can't help questioning where the urge to bolt out of the room is, or why he isn't slamming up instant walls of denial that such an idea would ever even remotely interest him. Not that he's interested, he's just...mildly curious, maybe. Because he never thought Zoro would...]

I ain't drunk enough to forget about it.

[Is what he hears himself say, as he leans over to carefully place the sake bottle on the coffee table. Hell, even his slight buzz has vanished as though a bucket of ice water was dumped on his head. What's more important is that he doesn't want to forget it, though. He wants to poke and prod at this thing until he figures it out.

Sanji chances a look at Zoro, trying to puzzle out what he's thinking. He kind of wants to push him a bit, as well, but towards what end?]

Not like you to back down from something.

[Poking is actually good, because it keeps Zoro on his toes, and throws that fact in his face. Yes, he did back down. What does he think about that?

Given that he bristles right back at Sanji, he doesn't like realizing that about himself]

You want me to keep going, then? Because I will.

[big talk for a fumbling idiot. He backed down because he doesn't know what he really wants out of this, other than his old curious desires are welling right up to the surface now and compelling him to act on them for once. Whether or not the cook is even receptive to him is sort of further back in his mind. Zoro's problem is that he wants something, but isn't sure what that something is. Is it physical or emotional? If he tries anything, will the cook laugh him right off the couch for being stupid and inexperienced?

He stretches forward to grab the sake bottle and drain the rest of it, first. It won't give him any more courage or even get him buzzed, but it's a good way to cover that moment of awkward. As well as loosen his tongue, so that even if he doesn't have a better answer, he'll still ramble in search of one.]

Maybe this damn place is making me soft, too. I start thinking about things I haven't thought about in a long time, and maybe I don't wanna watch you disappear again and miss out on a chance to actually do something about it...

[That first thing sends another spike of anticipation through Sanji, even makes the tempo of his breathing increase. He almost...wants to keep goading Zoro. He wants to be a controversial little shit because he likes seeing Zoro's feathers ruffled and knows just how to get him to raise his hackles.

So he snorts lightly, sitting back again and letting pure skepticism seep into his tone.]

Uh-huh.

[Sure you will.

Of course then the rest of what Zoro says sort of blindsides him and makes him reel a bit, because what? Things he hasn't thought about in a long time, missing out on a chance to do something, what the hell is he talking about? Is this— This isn't something new? How fucking long has Zoro been keeping this under wraps?!

He starts rambling right back, blurting out words as they enter his head without think about what they might mean.]

Well, what the fuck...if you think you're gonna miss out, then -- people fucking disappear all the goddamn time from this place! No point living with shitty regrets if you can avoid 'em, that's the whole reason we live the way we do!

[the empty bottle thunks onto the table with some force]

I know!

[he'd like to say he doesn't need the reminder, but sometimes he does. No regrets, huh? Goading him into making good on his threat, huh? He can do it, now, the proverbial floor is open. The way Zoro figures, he can treat this like he does everything else, like training and fighting. No backing down, no stopping to question, just plow forward until something stands in the way and then face it.

For a moment, he sits with his hand still on the neck of the bottle, the energy seeming to build in the tension of his shoulders. Then he pushes off it, turning swiftly and lunging at Sanji, grabbing him by the shirt collar and pulling him in. There's no time for even a word of warning before he mashes his lips awkwardly to the corner of Sanji's mouth. Yes, he missed, but only by a hair.]

[Sanji doesn't have any time to react before he's hauled in -- or so he tells himself, as Zoro's mouth lands just on the corner of his own. He sucks in a breath, emotions spiraling wildly out of control as his heart pounds again and a burst of warmth explodes in his gut. He doesn't know what to think, or do, he's frozen with uncertainty but at the same time he has to berate himself for being so fucking stupid because what did he expect to happen? He practically TOLD Zoro to do this, there's no getting around that, he knew...

He knew.

And he pushed Zoro right into it.

Sanji spends a beat or two cursing himself, and then another trying to figure out what to do next. The traitorous thought that drifts through his mind is that this barely even counts as an actual kiss, and if it's going to happen -- it has happened, there's no rewinding time or pretending it didn't -- then he might as well make it count. Now, before his self-ideals start growing voices of their own and try to shout some sense into him.

His hands find the front of Zoro's shirt, firmly pushing him back but not letting him go in case he gets the wrong idea. Then he mutters under his breath:]

Fuck's sake, you idiot, you're directionally challenged even in this...

[Before he lines them up properly and pulls Zoro back in to kiss him for real.]

[He was expecting to be kicked - yes, even while sitting on the couch - so this is a rather pleasant surprise. There's still a touch of frustration in it on Zoro's end, he doesn't know what to do with his lips and it shows, but there's a growl in his throat and his hand on Sanji's collar yanks a little as if refusing to back down first. Yet, when it feels like it's enough and he can break off, a sense of relief washes through him. It's the best possible outcome, and even though there's still a chance he could get kicked, he's at least made his intentions known.

Zoro isn't about to let it get away from him, though, and even if this is a good outcome, he's on edge. His free hand comes up and curls around Sanji's neck to fist in his hair, and he drags his eye up to fix on the cook's face, only the slightest bit worried that he's going to see fear or revulsion there. His face, in turn, is earnest, brow furrowed, determined to see this through until they can agree what to do about this. Even if it comes to nothing, if this is his first and last chance to explore a different facet of his bond with the cook, he wants it to be something he'll never regret.

That leaves him sitting there, searching Sanji's face for a while. There are simply no words, yet, for where they go from here. But Zoro has spent the last seven months, give or take a couple of weeks, in this man's space, living alongside him as friends more than mere crewmates, much it just the two of them alone trying to hang on to memories and routines and strength and dreams. Even if Luffy had never mentioned his weird otherworldly experiences, this is something Zoro has wondered about for a long time, and now it's right here, literally in his hands. WHAT DO?]

[He responds to the yank by surging even harder into the kiss. There's little to no finesse in it, that's for sure, and for a moment it's almost as if this is just another brawl between the two of them. Except there's no winner, they just seem to mutually break apart and Sanji's left panting a little as his eyes dart over Zoro's face, trying to find answers there.

The hand in his hair feels foreign to him, exciting and dangerous and weird all at the same time, almost more so than the kiss itself. Maybe because they're just watching each other at this point, and it's like Zoro's trying to hold him in place in case he tries to escape. He doesn't think he was going to, but if he wasn't being anchored to the spot then who knows? There's something extremely personal about it, too, in a way that's different from the inexperienced mashing of their mouths. Personal or intimate or...something.

Sanji adjusts his grip on Zoro's shirt, loosening his hold briefly only to curl his fingers into the material again. He's not sure if shoving him away and getting some space is the better option, or if he wants to pull him back in and...

His tongue darts out, quickly wetting his bottom lip before he draws it back. If he did free up one of his hands, it would probably be so he could press the pads of his fingers against his mouth and question everything in his life that has led to the tingling sensation that now lingers there.]

...I, uh.

[What? What the fuck is he supposed to say? Does he have to say anything?? Should he get up and walk away or do they have to talk about this like actual functioning adults???]

Shit.

[Forget it, functional adults is not how they do things. Zoro doesn't want to talk about it, either, but at the same time, how does he keep them from breaking apart, going about their day as if nothing has changed, and never come back together like this again? That tongue draws his attention for a moment, and he has to press his lips together to hold back a groan. Damn, cook...

His eye drops to the hands on his shirt and he dares to let out a soft gust of a laugh. It's ridiculous, now that he's on the other side of it and berating himself for ever backing down in the first place. Really, though, he had every reason to expect that Sanji would never want him like this, who can blame him for trying to keep it cool? But the longer they sit there, clinging to each other, not saying much, the more confident Zoro grows. The breathy chuckle is only the start, it morphs into a bashful sort of grin.]

I ain't apologizing this time.

[basically, YOU ASKED FOR IT. It's weird, though, this stupid giddy sense of relief mingled with the vague wish to do it again, warring against his usual stoic need to keep people from getting too close. Maybe it was the memories that did it - the proof that he doesn't need to keep things to himself, that letting other people really see what he's like inside isn't going to kill him.

Zoro relaxes his grip, letting his hand slide away from Sanji's neck. There's so much he could do, but he doesn't feel like testing his boundaries until he's sure he's not about to be shoved off the couch.]

[Yeah, yeah, he knows what you mean, and it makes him purse his lips for a moment before he huffs, momentarily embarrassed. Poke and prod and ye shall receive, eh?]

Wasn't expecting you to.

[For some reason he's caught by that grin and finds himself staring at it. It's kind of infectious, too, and Sanji feels a similar expression tugging at the corners of his mouth for a second before he jerks his gaze away. He's relieved when Zoro lets go of him, though, and releases him in turn before finally sliding back a few inches on the couch and then just pushing himself up altogether.

He has to step away for a minute, that's all. From Zoro, from his stupid grin. He doesn't go far, at least, because the last thing he wants to do is make Zoro shut down in any way. ...Even though that grin does odd swooping things to his insides. The important thing is it's there. So he just angles himself toward the opposite side of the room and crosses his arms, the fingers on one hand tapping in an agitated way against his bicep.

Seriously, how could he kick the idiot or shove him off the couch when he's the one who all but invited his advances? Sanji's face goes warm again just thinking about it, and he rakes a hand back through his hair. He's really gonna have to think about this, examine his own motivations and actions and figure out just what's going on in his own head. Because he's been sailing along on a fuckton of excuses today -- and for awhile, if he's being honest -- and yet he's gonna call Zoro out for backing down? He feels like a giant shitty hypocrite, which makes him both irritated at and sort of ashamed of himself.

The more glaring problem, however, is that he's pretty sure he wants to sit back down, grab Zoro's shirt again, and haul him back in for more.

He does sit down again, at least, dropping onto the cushion like his legs have suddenly given out, and he curls a hand over his mouth before finally glancing back at Zoro.]

You've...been thinking about doing that? [He pauses, trying to remember what exactly Zoro said though it feels like it happened a lifetime ago.] Or you have before, at least.

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