[closed]

[deontology]

Who: Sousei and Tenka
When: 10/25 ; night
Where: their currently shared apartment
What: There's a lot of canon to catch up on. Alcohol definitely makes that much worse better
Rating/Warning: drunk people, Manpain

[Living with Tenka is simultaneously really, really familiar and also a little irritatingly different. Cutting contact for years will do that, he supposes--but nonetheless, as easily as they fall back into the groove of being partners, there's still a lot under the surface that needs to be said.

Neither of them wants to say it, though.

Sousei still doesn't like this place, certainly, and has no intentions of playing along with them--but at the very least, acting as a kendo instructor is calming. It's familiar, and separate from all of this futuristic nonsense, and while he's doing his best to adapt, it isn't bad to have something very like home to ground him.

There's that, and there's Tenka.

So when he gets home from said work, he expects it to be another night of them trying and failing to return to the place they were before, when all they had had to do was be partners, and the understanding came right along with it.]

Comments

[deontology]

[WELL...]

Are you really surprised...

[A huff, faint.]

Didn't you comment on that earlier? [When they saw each other again......after ten years...]

[sunshrouded]

What - quick and dirty?

[Yeah, no he remembers. He thought it was a clever joke.]

I mean, it was accurate. You just knocked out that serial killer in a blink of an eye! It was brutal!

[deontology]

[you're not clever, tenka]

And you were playing with a dangerous murderer.

[WHY...]

You should have known better. I shouldn't have to cover for your mistakes. [But he will. Always.]

[sunshrouded]

I knew what I was doing!

[Sort of. Except honestly now, Tenka's taking a drink of sake and even though he can already feel the warmth and his words getting looser from it, he's still just as honest and earnest as ever-]

I mean, the guy was against the whole government! What do you think would happen if you just tossed him into jail without anything? It would've just gotten worse. Then there'd be no saving him!

[as in yes, tenka thought that he could save him. but tenka thinks that about everybody]

[deontology]

[Sousei is quiet for a long moment.

Yes, he knows that Tenka always wants to save everyone. As the Yamainu, their job was to protect Japan as a whole, and that includes people like Naoto. And yet...

Sousei's tone is flat, but his expression is hooded as he focuses instead of his drink.]

Kagami Naoto escaped prison, returned to the shrine, and kidnapped Chuutarou.

[Do you know, Tenka? Do you know what happened, in the end? He's not sure, but he thinks that he should. There's no judgement passed on Tenka's way of thinking.

He's just giving Tenka all of the facts, at this point.]

[sunshrouded]

He did what?!

[That should answer the question of whether or not Tenka knew.

Along with the exclamation, he's standing rather abruptly - on his feet in no more than a second, looking shocked and disturbed and more than that, worried.]

He took Chuutarou?!

[He looks ready to bolt for the door, although they've already confirmed that there's no way to get back home immediately. But Tenka wants to - god, does he want to.]

[deontology]

Sit down.

[Jeeze, Tenka... Jeeze. It's not like you could do anything right now anyway?

Sousei sips his drink, considering everything. It's pretty clear Tenka is out of the loop on so many things, but...how much does he say?]

Chuutarou is fine, last I saw him.

[Riding a giant tanuki and all.

Kind of weird, but he accepts it as a Thing that happens.]

[1/2]

[sunshrouded]

[Oh my god, Sousei.

Tenka flops down more than he sits down at that point, exasperated and more than a little irritated-]

Next time, start with that!!

[sunshrouded]

[ . . . though once he does take a breath, he can't help but feel the doubt lingering in his mind again.

Was sparing Naoto another mistake he made? Chuutarou ended up okay because Chuutarou is his amazing little brother but it was probably close. Is this what happened when he went easy on people and tried to save them before their hatred consumed everything?

Is this what happens when he disappears?

Though now that they're on the topic of his little brothers, Tenka zeroes in on one thing that he'd been hesitating to bring up at the risk of shattering their tentative bond-]

Botan told me that Soramaru is the vessel.

[ . . . he laughs a little hollowly.]

I take it that he's not fine.

[deontology]

[...Oh.

Sousei hadn't known that Tenka...knew. He knew it would have had to have been brought up eventually, but... Now that Tenka knows, he finds himself at a bit of a loss for words. Because... because Soramaru isn't fine. But it's not because Sousei killed him.

They'd agreed to do that to the vessel to protect Japan all of those years ago. Tenka had never really agreed, though. They'd always clashed over that.

And now....

Sousei stares down at his drink for a moment. But he has to own up to his own mistakes--he always will.]

...I have to apologize to you for that. [Not because he killed him, but rather--] Though I resolved to watch over him, he was taken nonetheless.

[by your rude ex-boyfriend though so like. really???]

[sunshrouded]

[It's all a bit much.

Tenka's hand around his cup clenches as he stares down into it for a moment, trying to sift his way through all the different bits of implied information that go along with what Sousei said.

For one, Tenka can't remember the last time Sousei apologized to him.

But more than that, Sousei resolved to watch over Soramaru? Tenka's not sure what he was expecting but it wasn't that. Sousei had always been determined to slay the Orochi - that's what caused them to fight the most even when they were as close as they were as kids. Botan hadn't specified what role Sousei had played in Soramaru being the vessel but to think that Sousei would have actually chosen to watch over him-

Tenka heaves out a sigh.]

How unlike you....

[To apologize to him, to not be so hellbent on killing the Orochi's vessel, to actually have a change of heart-

But if there's one thing that Tenka knows about Sousei, it's this:]

I'm sure you did all you could though.

[A rueful smile as he actually thinks about it.]

No one would have expected the return of the Fuuma.

[Not even Tenka. Perhaps last of all, Tenka.]

[deontology]

[It is unlike him. He knows it is--he knows it was when he resolved to do it. But he just...could not bring himself to kill Soramaru. And...there must be another way. There must be a way to fix this stupidity, and they were going to find it without resorting to death. Without resorting to this waste of human life that so many people seemed to find okay.

But Sousei doesn't want excuses either. He did all that he could, yes--he'd had a hundred things on his mind, so many people to protect and only a handful of people at his command, but... excuses are merely that.

The end result is that he lost Soramaru.]

... Be that it may. [He still knows it's his failure, but...] We discovered another method of separating the Orochi from its vessel. [Well, more Botan and Ashiya, really, but close enough.]

...Soramaru, too, will be fine. [He refuses to accept anything less.]

[sunshrouded]

You did?

[Tenka is honestly left only blinking owlishly at that. Separating the Orochi from the vessel, it's what he was searching for all those ten years. Looking for those answers and he and Shirasu had never found anything. (Though now he has to wonder, had Shirasu found something and destroyed it? That would make sense if he truly betrayed their family - though even now Tenka won't fully accept that.)

He ducks his head a moment later, feeling the emotion come up. Finally, they could maybe put an end to this cycle of pain. The sort of pain that had made him realize when he was no more than a teenager that he might have to kill his closest friends. That made Sousei vow to kill him so long ago - when Tenka couldn't accept that as the act of mercy and honor that it was probably intended to be.

So despite the lack of information that they have now - where is Soramaru? have they really lost Shirasu? what the hell is going to happen? - Tenka is relieved.

Despite a preliminary sniff, he actually manages a rather tired, but nonetheless genuine, laugh.]

That.... took way too long.

[Ten years (and he still wasn't the one to do anything. What is he good for?)]

[deontology]

...Yes.

[Of course, there's still so much to be done. Nothing is certain now. He was in the middle of trying to make it certain when...well, when he ended up here. But that's all the more reason to return home. There are people to save. There are things to be done.

Japan needs them.

Sousei takes a sip of his drink, calm and placid.]

For that reason, we both must return to see this through. That is our duty.

[It's the task they took up, when they agreed to be part of the Yamainu. And finally...they may be able to see it through to the end.]

[sunshrouded]

['We both must return,' Sousei says. So Tenka just nods in agreement.]

Can't have you hogging all the glory, can I?

[Because he remembers just as well as Sousei does. They were supposed to be the unsung heroes of the country. They were supposed to kill the Orochi and save everyone. They were supposed to accomplish that sort of thing together.

But Tenka's not sure how long his body will last.

Sousei may be willing to drag him the rest of the way, so that they may see the end of it all together, but really, that's only if Tenka's mind and body aren't consumed by the very creature they're hunting down.

He doesn't say that though.

He just smiles and takes another drink.]

[deontology]

[There's still so much that's unsaid, and Sousei can hear it. There's that heavy weight of...so much that's unknown. They've talked briefly about Tenka's condition, but... but it's not getting better, and he knows it. And... this agreement too. Tenka knows it too.

Is he lying again?

Is he saying that just to make Sousei happy? Does he intend to go home only to die again?

Sousei never drinks this much, but he supposes in response to thoughts like these, alcohol is one of the only options, especially when it's right there in his hand.]

Glory...

[his response to that comes quickly, but...it's almost fond, blunt as it is.]

Don't be stupid. That was never part of our dream. [Our--the one Tenka gave to Sousei, which he now refuses to give up.]

[sunshrouded]

[Before he can help himself, the words are out of his mouth:]

A lot of things that have happened were never part of our dream.

[ . . . to be quite honest.

But Tenka punctuates the end of that sentence with another drink.

And then he lets out a loud 'aahhh' and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand before giving out a bark of a laugh.]

Not that it matters. We'll take care of it all no problem!

[Though it's hard to say how much of that is bravado, an attempt to mask his previously rather negative words, and how much he genuinely believes.

Perhaps it's 50-50.]

[deontology]

[...A lot of things did happen that were never part of their dream. The deaths of Tenka's parents, the loss of Tenka in both ways, and all of this experimenting...

Iwakura's treachery... Sousei's fingers tighten on the cup as he thinks of it. He'd called them nothing more than useless dogs, and yet he had been the one always betraying his country.

Disgusting.

Part of him doesn't want Tenka to know. Part of him thinks that it would be fine if Tenka didn't know, because in a way...it just validates everything Tenka did. It validates his leaving the Yamainu. It validates it all, and it leaves a bitter taste in Sousei's mouth.]

... Iwakura-- [...-sama-- no] was making use of the Yamainu to his own ends. He was interested in the experiments that were being done on you, and others with those cells.

...Did you know?

[sunshrouded]

Iwakura - the old man?

[That should answer that.

... though he supposes that it would make sense. After all, the scientists who experimented on him were part of the government, if the shadiest part of it.

Yet he can't bring himself to be mad about that. When he'd seen Iwakura again, he'd gotten a feeling that the old man had changed - though not to the point that he was willing to experiment on people using the Orochi that the Yamainu were supposed to eradicate.]

... News to me.

[Of everything, the experiments that were conducted on him honestly fall under the least of his worries.]

How unlucky.

[deontology]

[It may be the least of Tenka's worries, but it ranks right up there with the worst of Sousei's. He cannot believe that that's what the Yamainu were contributing to. That that's what orders they're still under. Capture the Orochi and bring it back alive?

Don't make him laugh.

He downs his drink, expression pinched.]

It is disgusting, how far he has stooped. [How far they all did, in following those orders.] You should never have been forced to endure that.

[sunshrouded]

[Tenka can only watch, mildly bewildered. Sousei's that upset over it?

Idly, he brings a hand up to his neck where one of the tools used to restrain the Orochi is wrapped around his neck. His fingers brush against the texture of where there scales were and are still faintly growing, though they are not as noticeable as they once were.

He's a monster and he knows it, but-]

.... It was my choice, Sousei.

And if I didn't, I wouldn't even be able to talk to you like this.

[He'd be bedridden instead.]

Our dream would be even farther out of reach.

[deontology]

[Firmly, almost a little too hard, Sousei sets down his cup. And he frowns at Tenka, because--]

There must have been another way.

[A way that wouldn't have made Tenka go through so much pain. That wouldn't have come with an end date.

That wouldn't have ended in so much tragedy.]

I have learned that there is always another way. [That's why he didn't kill Soramaru. He knew there had to be another way, and there was.] I still do not intend to give up on our dream, but I will not forgive you if you give up on your life either!

[Perhaps...a little more loosely said than usual, but...well, the alcohol's been working its wonders, and a lot of this has been buried for quite awhile.]

[sunshrouded]

[Tenka wants to think that there would've been another way. But-]

Our medicine wasn't capable of fixing the problem I had, Sousei. It still isn't. [And he laughs a bit because-] We're in the future where we don't have to draw water from wells or have to light a fire with rocks - and the best I've gotten is a different form of medicine that's still experimental.

Our other ways aren't looking too much better.

[And he drops his hand to the table just as he drops his gaze and honestly-]

I'm living as a Kumou until the end. And that means being their big brother and your partner. I've got a lot to make up for still.

It's just- [He shrugs a little helplessly and for the first time, his voice sounds uncertain and almost afraid.] I don't... know when the end is.

[That's the part that isn't his choice anymore.]

[deontology]

[And that's what makes Sousei snap. They're supposed to take that from this place? From home? From all of that nonsense? Don't make him laugh. All they've been dealing with are liars and frauds. He wouldn't trust them as far as he can throw them, especially not about something as important as Tenka's life.

So he turns, grabbing the front of Tenka's clothing and pulling him closer, expression fierce.]

So you think we should just give up?! That we should believe that that is the best a place like this has to offer, when our captors have done nothing but attempt to cause us harm?

[He scoffs.]

Don't be ridiculous. There will be another way, and I will find it, whether you want me to or not. I refuse to allow you to die again. All you have ever done is leave us all behind, and it will stop.

[He's tired of Tenka leaving him behind. He doesn't want it to happen anymore.]

[sunshrouded]

[That manages to surprise him-

Because it's too easy for him to remember the last time Sousei yanked on him like this, so clearly upset.

Though admittedly last time he was scorning Tenka's life, telling him to disappear. Alone.

This is different but Tenka is still left as lost and uncertain as to what he should say as before.

His left hand comes up to wrap his fingers loosely around Sousei's forearm, a tenuous hold on the other man whereas his grip on Tenka remains strong.

Then, Tenka will admit something he's never quite been able to say aloud before:]

Do you expect a complaint from me about that?

I don't want to die, Sousei. I never have.

[It's just that so far - with the nearly fatal injury to his back, his ordained execution by the government, and his body being consumed by a monster - it's the only fate that he's ever been sure of.]