estoria | I'm a whole lot better [CLOSED]

Entry tags:

sanji,
zoro roronoa

I'm a whole lot better [CLOSED]

Who: Zoro

serving_love
When: IC 7/19 during the event
Where: Straw Hat Apartments, Occupancy 2
What: Neither Zoro nor Sanji have ever told anyone else in the crew where they spent their two years training. Spirit fox shenanigans are going to force them to find out each other's secret.
Rating/Warning: nothing I can think of, maybe some sensitive topics discussed?

[Zoro has been on the slightest of edges since the day the world glitched around him, and though he still chalks it up to a technology problem inside ViViD, since it happened while he was in the gravity room, Weiss's information makes him wonder. Was he supposed to be in that train tunnel? Was he supposed to die?

And then this place just gets worse on him today, he wasn't sure for a good number of hours but now he's certain there's a weird white fox trailing him around. Only not a real one, no, it's all wispy and shit, and whenever he turns to look at the flitter of white, gauzy movement in his peripheral sight, it darts away, avoiding his eye. He only saw it once for the fox-shape it is, on his way back from the dojo, and though he hurried his pace to get indoors without it and hopefully trap it outside, he's pretty sure he just saw it drift through the kitchen. Dammit.

He is not drunk enough for this.

He hasn't even hardly settled into the couch cushions and he's up again, pacing, trying to see where the ghostly fox went. Maybe he can chase it out? Maybe he can find a fresh bottle of sake in the kitchen while he's at it. Cook's around, though...]

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[Zoro has exactly zero shits to give about okama one way or the other, but Sanji's complaint that Luffy had it better drags a magnificent roll of his eye out of him. Of all the things!]

Don't give me that shit, you know full well he was training his ass off. With Rayleigh, it sounds like, not the warlord lady.

You weren't the only one, you know. Those two years weren't a walk in the damn park. [well, maybe for Brook. And Nami.] If that's where you got sent then that's where you needed to be, same as me. Same as any of us, really. So you had a shit time of it, you still survived.

[there's something more, maybe an admission of sorts, right on the tip of his tongue, but he bites it back. It's not like he's not sympathetic because yeah, it looked like a dumb place to spend two years, but Zoro has his own turmoils and refuses to own up to any of them. Where Sanji gets angry at the hand he's dealt, Zoro denies his entirely.]

Oh fuck off, I don't need a damn lecture. It's not like it's something I've been bitching about since we got back together. I wasn't planning on telling anyone, ever, and I sure as hell didn't fucking ASK for you to get a shitty glimpse of that place. I know it wasn't easy for any of us.

[He gives a mighty harrumph, crossing his arms over his chest as he puffs away at his cigarette.]

I told you, surviving is what I fucking do. I wasn't gonna let that hellhole beat me.

[And he has to stop himself from grinding his teeth at the idea that it's where he needed to be. He gets it, yeah, but it's still... Ugh, it just makes him uncomfortable all over again.

He shoots Zoro a look.]

Perona-chan was with you, too. Right?

[Zoro's expression sours again at the reminder, and he looks off to the side, huffing]

She was on the island, yeah. Don't get excited, it's not like we hung out or anything. She was just there.

[Well, at least he's learned as much as he wants to know about Sanji's strange memory. What's done is done and he's satisfied with the explanation.]

Just there. With Mihawk.

[He's not quite sure where that thought is going but it's definitely to someplace weird, so he cuts it off before it advances too much.]

Kinda surprised he let her stick around, he seems like a shitty loner.

[Now that his own shit is out of the way, he's back to wanting to throw questions at Zoro. He's not entirely sure what questions, but the entire idea of Zoro being under Mihawk's wing is just...really interesting.]

So. You anywhere close to beating him?

Yeah, I don't get why he didn't give her a boat and tell her to scram. [hmm. Wait, boat. He scratches his chin.] Unless the one he tried to give me was the only one on the island besides his...

[well, no matter. He looks around briefly for foxes and then takes a cautious step or two further into the living room.]

Guess we'll find out the next time we cross paths. It's not like I was there specifically to defeat him then and there.

[Every time Zoro looks around the room, Sanji unconsciously copies him. His foxy friend seems to be ambling through the kitchen for some reason, but he loses sight of it almost as quickly as he spots it, which doesn't make any fucking sense. It better not come dashing into the living room...]

Yeah, but I figure you sparred with him and shit. So you gotta have a better idea of what it's gonna take.

[Seriously, he's seen Zoro in action and it's hard to believe there's some asshole out there who could still be THAT much stronger than him. ...Actually.

Sanji peers at Zoro suspiciously all of a sudden.]

You didn't already beat him and just conveniently forgot to tell us or something, did you?

No. [he says it quietly, but not with any sort of sense of disappointment.] I actually didn't really fight him directly, at all. His idea of training wasn't to fight me.

[assuming canon doesn't say otherwise. Zoro looks around again, but figures Sanji would warn him if the fox was anywhere directly in his path and crosses to go and flop on the opposite end of the couch from him, keeping obvious distance between them.]

Aside from teaching me about haki, he was pretty hands-off. Left me alone for a lot of it.

Huh.

[That's a shame. Or maybe it's not.

Sanji wants to be there when it happens, after all, so he's glad they didn't miss it.]

Well, whatever his shitty method was, it worked.

[And that's about the closest Sanji's gonna get to giving Zoro a compliment. He wants to ask him something else about his Shichibukai Crash Course in Haki, but he spots something glimmering out of the corner of his eye before he can.

His stupid fox, of course. Bounding into the room on its three legs. Sanji barely has time to react, his eyes just go wide -- he's only sort of made the connection that these shitty ghost animals are what caused the visions they each had, but whether he knows for certain or not he's sure as hell not going to let that damn thing touch Zoro again. So he kind of lurches off the couch as the fox jumps, diving forward at Zoro and more or less performing a spectacularly awkward bellyflop straight onto Zoro's his lap in an effort to get in the fox's way.]

NO!!

[It's pretty pointless, of course. Being a ghostly spirit thing, the fox just kind of sinks straight through Sanji and into Zoro. And then to make matters worse, it leaps up again onto Zoro's shoulder before skittering away down the back of the couch to the opposite end where it takes a seat to innocently watch them.]

Goddammit, you fucking—

[And that's about all he manages to get out. He doesn't even have time to push himself up off of Zoro before the nausea hits.]

[There's not even time to react to sudden cook in his lap before Zoro is deep in the throes of another memory that isn't his. Clearly not, because he's never seen that barren rock in all his life, no matter how lost he's been. At least he's sitting, this time, and aside from clenching his hand on the arm of the couch as if to cling to reality, it doesn't throw him too badly.

By now it's happened enough that he definitely knows it's the weird wispy foxes causing this phenomenon, which means one just passed through him and he certainly didn't see it, so...maybe Sanji can be forgiven for his position.

Maybe.

As he snaps back to the present, Zoro is a bit rattled to find an actual memory of his own flashing to mind - a few months ago, and some books on the coffee table - because this one makes him flush red right to the tips of his ears. As a result, he freezes where he is, not twitching a muscle, particularly not the ones in his thighs right beneath Sanji.]

Ugh, shit. These little bastards...!

[Luckily for Zoro, Sanji's too busy trying to get his head to stop swimming to notice his flushed face at first.

Unluckily for him, though...Sanji's too busy trying to get his head to stop swimming to actually, you know. Move. The most he can manage is to rise up on his knees a bit, so at least he's not still just flopped across Zoro's legs. His hands are balled up into fists, though, digging into the arm of the couch, and he's got his forehead pressed against Zoro's thigh, his eyes squeezed shut.]

Nnnngh— Shit.

[The flash of memory that Zoro gets comes more from the end of Sanji's stay on that shitty barren rock, when the hunger pains were constant and so bad that he contemplated throwing himself into the ocean on more than one occasion just to make it stop. When he was nothing more than skin and bones, and so exhausted, and so hungry that he finally went looking for that ol' geezer.

Only to find that he had no food at all. And was missing a leg.

By the time Sanji stops feeling like he's about to hurl, he almost doesn't even want to look at Zoro. Because fuck knows what he saw. If it's more of Sanji's own personal hell...

But he does crack an eye open eventually and peeks up at the other man. At which point Zoro's red face becomes entirely obvious and Sanji just.

Groans.]

Ugh, fuck me -- what did you see, you bastard?

[The end of that tale is gut-wrenching enough, as if he's sharing in that nausea. Zoro doesn't even know what to do with his hands, now, not even to help Sanji get up. It's probably better if he holds still, anyway, though his eye flicks down to the cook at the question.]

Get off me already.

[It's not the usual flailing, snarling demand, just sort of a flat-toned suggestion. His blush evaporates pretty quickly, just thinking of what he saw, pushing past the much nicer memory that came immediately on its heels thanks to the warmth of the body pressed against his.]

You were a lot younger. A kid. The old man was there. It looked like...just a tiny island with nothing growing on it.

Oh.

[There's not relief in his tone, exactly, but the tension in his body dissipates almost immediately upon hearing that. No, he sounds...weirdly okay with what Zoro just said. That blush could've meant he'd seen any number of things, after all, most of them not significant in any way but all of them embarrassing nonetheless.

This, though...

Sanji grunts, then pushes himself up with effort. He doesn't bother moving back to his end of the couch, instead collapsing back against the cushion right there next to Zoro for now.]

That was before the Baratie was a shitty thing.

[He brushes a hand through his hair and then props his elbow on the back of the couch so that he can rest his temple against his palm. His gaze goes distant for a moment as he stares across the room, thrown back into his own unpleasant memory of that time.]

Hm... I don't recommend ever getting shipwrecked, marimo.

Shipwrecked...?

[Zoro instantly relaxes as soon as he's free, looking around yet again as if he can spot the culprit who visited that lovely vision on him before settling to regard the cook next to him.

Two and two add up a lot more quickly in his head this time.]

You were shipwrecked when you were a kid? That how you met the old bastard?

[Sanji looks back at him for a moment, weighing his options in his head. Trying to decide where to begin, what to tell him. What not to tell him. If he wants to tell him anything at all.

In the end, he figures he might as well. Luffy knows, as do all the cooks back home now since he blabbed about it in the middle of that fight. So it's not really like it's a secret, it's just not a fun thing to remember.

He lets out a breath, eyes drifting away again.]

I met the old bastard because his crew raided the shitty cruise ship I was working on. Then a bad storm kicked up... Never did find out if anyone else survived, but that asshole somehow managed to grab me before I drowned. We ended up there.

[He glances back at Zoro, gesturing randomly as if to indicate the tiny island he mentioned before.]

[Zoro and sympathy are not usually acquainted, but he is fascinated by this new information, particularly since he feels like he saw it with his own eyes. That tiny withered hand, sunburned and wasting away, groping for the knife...]

How long were you stuck there? For it to get that bad...

[he's so intent on puzzling this out and making sense of what he saw that he completely misses the spirit-fox sniffing around the other side of the coffee table, slowly approaching them]

Too long.

[Sanji grins a little, though there's no humor in it at all. It's a pained sort of expression, as is the soft huff of a laugh that accompanies it.]

Three months, just about. Zeff gave me the food he salvaged; less than a week's worth. [There's a pause and then Sanji straightens a bit, pushing off the back of the couch and looking around.] Maybe you can guess what he survived off of. Alright, where's your little fucker? Gotta level the shitty playing field.

[...He is kidding, actually. Maybe trying to goad Zoro into scowling at him and calling him an idiot so they can wrap up this little baring-his-soul session and get things back to status quo.

It's not like he knows the dumb thing is right there.]

[Whatever Sanji's attitude about it, Zoro is at least appropriately stunned, though it only really shows in the completely blank expression on his face. That's a lot to take in and there's really only one thing he can even say in reaction.]

...shit.

[He's in awe of this man, now, on a different level. To have lived through such a thing and still be a pretty normal guy, stupid twirling notwithstanding, he's definitely as tough as Zoro always took him for.

His eye drops to look for the fox, which he actually can't see because Sanji's feet are blocking the view in that direction, but he sits up sharply.]

Huh? Hell no, dumbass! I don't wanna get dizzy again! It's not my fault your damn fox touched me, keep better control of it!

[like either of them can. He doesn't even notice the spirit until it's too late, and it suddenly appears right by Sanji's foot when Zoro turns his head to see around his blind spot. He starts up from the couch to try tp push Sanji away, but just pushes him into it this time. The wave of vertigo sends him to his knees as Sanji gets to see one fateful night under a full moon, and a dead child with a cloth over her face following right on its heels.]

[He looks back around at that first thing, trying to gauge Zoro's reaction for a moment. But it seems his comment about the fox worked and he snorts a little at the abrupt change in topic, before spreading his hands in a shrug.]

How the fuck am I supposed to control it, I don't even know where the damn thing is half the—oi!

[But oops, okay. So apparently it was right there. Sanji frowns as Zoro shoves him, ready to snap at him in a knee-jerk reaction, but then he goes rigid as another memory that isn't his own washes over him. This one sends him reeling more than the last one did, mostly because of the complicated tangle of emotions that hits him. It wipes the irritation from his face, leaving his expression blank as he clings to the back of the couch briefly to keep from losing his balance entirely.

When he's able to, he sits back against the couch cushion again and shakes his head with a slight wince. Then he finds Zoro, watching him carefully.]

Ah...sorry. I didn't... [Mean to. Honestly. But instead of saying that, he just shakes his head again and then drags his hands over his face and pushes them back into his hair.

These things really are a pain in the ass. And a huge shitty invasion of privacy.]

[Fuck that's not fun, not one bit. Zoro takes huge, deep breaths, trying to push it down and keep himself from retching at the sensation, but it passes and leaves him capable of sitting up. He can still see the fox just standing there like it wasn't responsible for any of this, and hurls himself at it, not so much to catch it but just to make it go away. This time it actually runs from him, dashing off into another room.

Good, now. Zoro shoots Sanji a wary look as he pushes himself to his feet.]

Tell me.

[obviously he saw something, Zoro just wants to know what it was so he knows what to think about it.]

[Sanji lets his hands drop into his lap, peering up at Zoro in a cautious, if also somewhat curious way. It's a moment before he speaks, but there's no point in putting it off.]

You were young. Probably around the same shitty age you just saw me. And there was a girl.

[He could go into more details, but why? There's no way Zoro won't know what he's talking about. So he just finishes it as quickly as he can.]

She died.

[Oh, of course. Of course it was that. Leveling the playing field is right.

Though, Zoro doesn't quite pale the way he did over his more recent secret. Instead, he turns in the direction he last saw the white shadow run off to and bellows after it.]

You fucking asshole! Get out of my fucking head and leave me alone!

[he really needed to get that out of his system, first. Now that he has, he drags a hand down his face, heaving a huge, defeated sigh. It doesn't hurt quite as much as he might have expected, the twinge of reminder is there and then gone. Still, he'd rather sweep it all under the nearest rug than just sit down and tell the story. If Sanji asks, he'll answer, though.

His knees go weak, dropping him back down onto the couch so hard the whole thing creaks.]

Yeah. She died.

[Sanji glances over his shoulder, maybe trying to spot where Zoro's fox ran off to even if it's pointless. His own is no longer hanging out on the back of the couch, so he can only hope it ran off in the same direction as Zoro's, which is presumably out of the room.

He pulls a leg up as Zoro collapses onto the couch, turning partway to face him. He's got about different questions on the tip of his tongue, but it feels like he needs to tread carefully with this one. Maybe he should just leave it alone...]

Who was she?

[Nope. Can't. But he'll try not to pry too much, at least.]

[It's fine, Zoro can handle this. It's kind of interesting, actually, that even though he's never wanted to volunteer this information, he's come to terms with it. Still, he keeps his scarred eye toward Sanji rather than meet his gaze, and his tone is low and quiet]

You remember the first time I faced Hawk-Eyes, at your restaurant? When he asked me why I wouldn't give up.

[with a knife plunged hilt-deep into his chest. "A promise to a friend." He's sure Luffy, Usopp, and the cook all heard it]

She was the friend I made a promise to.

[Of course he remembers, that's not something he's ever likely to forget. That entire day had been eye-opening in more ways than one, thanks to both Luffy and Zoro. He'd been so conflicted watching that entire fight. Conflicted and shocked and not a little awed. At the time, it had been hard to understand why Zoro would put himself in that position. Fighting an unbeatable opponent, refusing to accept defeat even when the outcome was obvious...

Looking back now, Sanji can't believe some of the things he said then. But he'd been so stuck on the idea of repaying Zeff, of supporting the old man's dream, that he'd almost set aside his own. More than that, he hadn't been ready to take on the shitty sea again, with all the mysteries and dangers it held. Somewhere along the line, he'd started hesitating. He'd forgotten how to push himself to overcome anything that seemed impossible. He had settled.

He lacked conviction.

Zoro didn't have that problem. Nor Luffy. And the effect it had had on Sanji had been astounding.

Sanji nods at Zoro's quiet explanation, a new understanding dawning within him. That moonlit night, the words the two of them had exchanged. Her worries. Their oath to each other. Zoro was still carrying that with him, all these years later. That's why he hadn't backed down from Mihawk. Why he'd faced him straight on.]

You're doing it for her. She can't become the world's greatest, so you're gonna do it for both of you.

[Hearing someone else say it feels weird. Moreover, someone who sounds rather like he actually understands, not just 'oh I get it' but really, somewhere deep down, is capable of understanding him. Zoro presses a hand to his lips for a moment, not to hold anything back but to give himself space to think.]

I was. But...it's not so simple anymore.

[dragging this out of him is like pulling a hundred-ton anchor from a long-dead galleon out of thousand-kilometer deep water with your bare hands, but given that Sanji also saw his memory of his demand to be trained, the two moments actually fit with one another. After a long pause, it finally comes out.]

It isn't just my promise to her. It's about Luffy, and the rest of the crew, now. She got me started on the path, but I have to keep going for him, not her. At least, that way I can still keep my promise to her.

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